Description: Two 20-ounce portions of lobster bisque packaged in plastic containers suitable for the freezer or microwave.

Preparation summary: Place a single container on microwave-safe plate and heat on high for five to six minutes, stirring bisque halfway through the heating process.

Highpoints: Loaded with tender pieces of Langostino and red claw lobster meat without any errant bits of shell interfering. Chewy, sweet and sensuous.

Lowpoints: Keep a double dose of Lipitor handy because cream is the first ingredient listed.

Average retail price: $10.59

Availability: Costco

Description: Chopped hamburger patties and low-fat cheese encased in two individual pastry pockets by Nestle SA of Vevey, Switzerland.

Preparation summary: Slide product into enclosed crisping sleeve and place on paper plate or paper towel in microwave. Heat on high for two minutes, remove from sleeve and let cool for two minutes before eating.

Highpoints: Pictures and testimonies of dieters featured on the back of the package lend optimism to losing 100 pounds by eating frozen junk food.

Lowpoints: Thick, doughy pastry shells serve as heavy anchors for keeping down the fake-tasting cheese and hamburger morsels contained within.

Average retail price: $2.50

Availability: Major grocery stores

Description: New line of bagged peanuts flavored with Thai lime leaves, whole chili peppers, lemon grass and rice bran oil. Sold in 1 lb. portions.

Preparation summary: Ready to eat.

Highpoints: Among the best spiced peanuts on the market, which hold true to their flavor theme, sans the salty aftertaste. Imagine tossing your favorite Thai dish into your mouth by using only a flick of the wrist.

Lowpoints: Beware of whole chili peppers in the mix! There are many. Every palm-full requires careful analysis before chomping down or scratching sensitive areas of the body.

Average retail price: $1.99

Availability: Trader Joe’s

Description: Soy protein powder enriched with vitamins and minerals, and sold in various other flavors. Vegetarian and yeast-free.

Preparation summary: Mix powder packet in 8 ounces of cold milk (skim or whole) or fruit juice until smooth.

Highpoints: Rich and natural cherry flavor. Perfect sustenance for staging phony hunger strikes since each serving contains substantial amounts of vitamins, iodine, folic acid and zinc – and with only 180 calories when mixed with skim milk.

Lowpoints: Package claims “no blender needed.” Yet after exerting at least 75 hand rotations with a spoon, those pasty, obstinate lumps still wouldn’t go away.

Average retail price: $1.69 per packet

Availability: Henry’s Marketplace