Holidays like Mother’s Day and Father’s Day give us an opportunity to appreciate the gifts our parents have shared with us and to honor them for all they have done.

I am aware that not all of us have been blessed with caring parents, and some of us have already lost one or more of our parents. I also know that, for too many of us, our coming out has created emotional distance or estrangement from our families of origin. That kind of personal rejection by our family members – based on our sexual orientation or gender identity – remains a source of deep pain for many.

Coming out to parents can be among the most challenging of life experiences. But not all of our coming-out experiences are bad. Some parents tell us they knew all along, and greet our announcement with affection, support and love that proves itself unconditional. But some are blindsided with this information, and while they put on a supportive face to be the best parents they can be, they struggle initially, and often privately, with this new information about their son or daughter. And, thankfully, many of them find their way to PFLAG (Parents, Families and Friends of Lesbians and Gays) after we tell them the truth about ourselves and our lives.

PFLAG meets our parents where they are: sometimes just in search of support, sometimes emotionally distraught, sometimes blaming themselves for our orientation, sometimes with tremendous concerns about our physical safety and sometimes because they fear we won’t be able to have a happy life or a family of our own.

Having a child come out as LGB or T can be challenging for many parents. It challenges their notions of who they thought their child was. It may test their faith. But our parents don’t have to stay in these places. At PFLAG, they find other parents who have walked this same walk and who can empathize with them – parent to parent.

And then, oftentimes, an amazing thing happens. Something we may not have guessed we’d see: Our parents come around.

Now, they come around with varying speed and take different paths. Some parents stay involved with PFLAG – some begin to provide the same support and compassion they received when they first walked through the doors. Others volunteer with various community events, and help spread the word of PFLAG’s good work. And others have become true champions for our equality.

There are many reasons the PFLAG contingent always gets such an amazing response at Pride events in cities all across this country. One is that we know we owe a tremendous debt to the organization and all the wonderful individuals who have been part of it. There are no more effective spokespeople for LGBT equality than our moms and dads. Because when our parents speak out on our behalf, they are speaking the language of the media, of legislators, of faith leaders and of the general public – all of whom can relate at some level to a parent advocating for their child.

And they – along with our other straight allies – are making change. Over the last few years, I’ve seen tremendous changes in our community related to our parents. Today, we see more and more of our family members attending community events like Pride or our film festivals or The Center’s Gala. Recently, one of our staff members planned her marriage proposal for the night of our marriage project’s digital storytelling premiere. The audience was filled with her family members – including her parents – who were all a part of her big night.

I continue to see more and more of us bridging a gap that used to seem unbridgeable: the gap between the family we came from and the community we came into. It’s moving and inspiring.

I remain in awe of some of the mothers in our movement. I’m grateful for all that they have done and continue to do.

Happy Mother’s Day!