Congratulations are in order for Empress Nicole Murray-Ramirez as she ascends to the title of Queen Mother of the Americas for the International Courts System in a crowning ceremony in Seattle, Wash., on Feb. 17. She promises to be the humble servant of the people, much like Helen Mirren in The Queen.

The self-proclaimed illegitimate daughter of Ethel Merman and Ernest Borgnine comes to San Diego for one night only to perform her critically acclaimed show Anatomically Incorrect at Martinis Above Fourth. Varla Jean Merman is a living drag legend hailed as “a delicious synthesis of Divine, Karen Finley and Montserrat Caballe” (Time Out New York), “Hysterically funny” (New York Times) and “…a revolutionary and demented drag performer. A must see!” (Backstage).

I have known Varla for many years from back in New York. She has performed at the Sydney Opera House, Carnegie Hall, the Soho Theatre in London and her summer hangout in Provincetown. Varla has appeared on numerous TV shows, including a recurring role in “All My Children” as the lady of the evening, Rosemary Chicken. She has starred on Broadway as Mary Sunshine in Chicago and won the “Best Actor” award (2003 Outfest Film Festival) and the “Best Actress” award (2003 Aspen HBO Film Festival in Sundance) for her performance as Varla in Girls Will Be Girls. Make your reservations el pronto for Varla’s show at Martinis Above Fourth on Sunday, Feb. 18, at 7:00 or 9:00 p.m. If the show is sold out, you’ll have to catch her at the Ultra Suede in Los Angeles every Thursday in February, or settle for a video or CD exclusively at www.footlights.com. Don’t miss Varla! I love her!

For tickets to Varla’s show at Martinis Above Fourth, call (619) 400-4500.

Congratulations to Martinis Above Fourth for winning the San Diego “Best Cocktails” category of the AOL CityGuide’s “CityBest2007.” Bottoms up! That means all of you guys.

It seems like I am constantly eating my way around town every time I visit San Diego. Whether it’s Saigon On Fifth, Oceanaire or the Red Pearl Kitchen, or trying some new place I’ve never been. Recently, my friend Edith and I went back to the Parkhouse Eatery on Park Boulevard for a simple meal and had a delightful time. We loved the fried calamari steak, and I thoroughly enjoyed their special of the night – pork tenderloin with pancetta cream sauce. Edith opted for the mac ’n’ cheese with scallops, which was good, but I thought it was a little pricey for $21.00.

Edith and I are always trying new restaurants. While shopping at Costco recently, a nice young man came up and introduced himself and invited Edith to dine at the new Café One Three at 4207 Park Blvd. (former Indulgence location). So this past Saturday morning, we decided to have breakfast at this eclectic eatery. They have done a good job renovating the space, and the atmosphere is quite pleasant. Edith had the mechaca scramble, which was delicious, while I had the meatloaf scramble. I thought the meatloaf itself was a little under seasoned. Next time, I’m going for the fried egg sandwich with bacon and Vermont cheddar. I’m also looking forward to going back for dinner, where nothing is more than $12.00, including their Tasso ham mac ’n’ cheese. They also have grilled tri-tip of beef, grilled jumbo prawns and poached salmon. But save some room for their delicious CakeyPies, an original creation of fruit-pie infused cake baked in a flaky crust and topped with a velvety mousse and swirled with fruit fillings, chopped nuts or chocolate sauce. I had the GermanCocoCherryNut, and it was out of this world. Congratulations to owner Jason Dean on a wonderful new dining place.

I ventured to Club Montage this weekend for the Military Madness party produced by my friend Steve Pena, in association with N de Simas Entertainment. There were wall-to-wall hot guys with their shirts off and camouflage pants (some military issue, others obviously designer inspired). Dance chart diva Amuka performed on the main stage with DJ Dac. Upstairs in the dance lounge, DJ Chi Chi LaRue ruled and gave away porn DVDs from All Worlds Video and Channel 1 Releasing. There was also a special guest appearance by porn star Brent Everett, who was just adorable. Also present at the party was “Queer Eye” Carson Kressley, who was seen arm-in-arm with the very hunky Ryan Scott. If you’ve never been to one of these parties, you are truly missing out on one of the best parties in San Diego.

With the clock ticking away, I sneaked off after 1:00 a.m. to visit the newly renovated, grand re-opening of The Brass Rail. Boy did they do a great job with the new wood floors, gold-tufted bar and DJ booth, oversize sofa and ottomans, and a special VIP lounge. This is not your grandmother’s Brass Rail. This reincarnation is quite impressive, and the evening was a lot of fun. Great job guys!

If you love cabaret, surely you’ve heard of Julie Wilson, the diva with the endless boa and the fresh gardenia in her hair. So it was quite apropos when she performed recently at the Gardenia Restaurant & Lounge on Santa Monica Boulevard in Los Angeles. Ms. Wilson, who is 82, was a regular performer at the Oak Room of the Algonquin Hotel and the Russian Tea Room in New York City, starred in Playgirls and Legs Diamond (with Peter Allen) on Broadway, and commands a loyal following of devotees. Seen on opening night were Bruce Vilanch, Pat Morrison (the original star of Kiss Me Kate on Broadway), Shelly Markham (composer of the long running Naked Boys Singing) and Andrea Marcovicci, another noted cabaret singer who has performed locally at Schroeder’s Cabaret. Also on hand was Ms. Wilson’s debonair son, Holt McAloney, who is also an actor and played a detective in “CSI: Miami.” Ms. Wilson, who regaled the crowd with “The Ladies who Lunch,” “Mad about the Boy,” “Good Morning Heartaches” and “The Man I Love,” travels next to Palms Springs. Catch her at the Indian Wells Theatre on Feb. 5 and the Annenberg Theatre on Feb 7.

February is always hopping with exciting events with Valentine’s Day, Mardi Gras and the Academy Awards. Don’t miss the amazing DJ Susan Morabito (N.Y.C.) at Club Montage on Saturday, Feb. 10, for Cupid’s Revenge and their S.D. Hottest Couple contest. Check out Rich’s for its “Salvation” party on Friday, Feb. 16, with DJ Alexander. Bacchus House presents “Oasis Bacchanal” with DJ Wayne G. (London) and Justice Page performing at 9:00 p.m. on Saturday, Feb. 17.

Celebrate Fat Tuesday Feb. 20 at the annual “Hillcrest Mardi Gras” street festival on University Avenue (entrance on Fourth Avenue) from 6:00 to 11:00 p.m. Performing on stage are the fabulous Tootie and the Lips Girls, Candye Kane and Il Circo, with DJ Taj spinning on the dance stage. Advance tickets are now available at Urban Mo’s and Obelisk Bookstore or online at www.GSDBAFoundation.com.

If you can’t wait, celebrate Mardi Gras early at Bourbon Street with its “7 Days of Decadence” beginning Feb 13, with a bead toss every night. Bacchus House starts its own “5 Days of Decadence” on Thursday, Feb. 15, with “It’s Raining Men,” San Diego’s hottest wet underwear contest hosted by Tootie, and culminating on Tuesday, Feb. 20, with the San Diego Kings Revue at 9:30 p.m.

Then it’s Oscar night on Feb. 25. Will Jennifer Hudson make a grand slam with another “Best Supporting Actress” award for playing “Effie” in Dreamgirls? This girl ain’t leaving until she gets her Oscar!

On that note, if you want to drop me a note, e-mail editor@uptownpub.com.