Spring in Southern California means gay guys and girls are making extra efforts to look fabulous. If you’re like me, the gym is the focus of your fitness frenzy. But at peak hours, frenzy can lead to frustration as we run into all sorts of “gym types” with clashing personalities, wardrobes and agendas. To help you keep from blowing your top (no pun intended), I’ve created a fun little quiz to test your gym etiquette. Circle one answer from each question, and then find out below what makes you tick – or get ticked off – at the gym:

At the gym, you wear:

1 The only thing that’s not in the laundry bin

2 Clean, comfortable clothes that don’t have to match

3 A matching ensemble and plenty of deodorant to look and smell fresh

4 A thong and whatever’s tight and bright, baby!

Your other gear includes:

1 Weight belt and gloves

2 Gloves and notepad to track your progress

3 Just your iPod or music phone

4 Music player, spritzer bottle and headband, so you don’t clog your pores

When you see friends, you:

1 Pretend you don’t see them or know them

2 Wave or nod, and continue your workout

3 Hug and compare tans or workout results – but only for a minute because you have a date later

4 Dish more gossip than those ladies on “The View”

As a workout drink, you take:

1 A butch-looking energy drink

2 A used water bottle that you fill up at the fountain just as that hottie is using it

3 A new bottle of water. Fountain water tastes gross and spreads germs!

4 Evian or Perrier

When using equipment, you take a:

1 Towel, but you hardly ever use it

2 Towel to keep your sweat off the seat or bench

3 Two towels and Windex to wipe off the grossness from the last person

4 Weight equipment?

When someone is using the equipment you want, you:

1 Lurk there and stalk them like a hawk

2 Politely ask if you can work in, or do a similar exercise instead

3 Use whatever’s available, fiddle with your iPod or chat with friends

4 Practice some dance moves or check your looks in the mirror

When finished with weights, you:

1 Leave them on the machine or floor because you suffer from ADHD

2 Put them back in proper order and rearrange the others if needed

3 Put them back wherever there’s space

4 Have your friend put them back because you’re nobody’s servant

When you see a hottie, you:

1 Surreptitiously check him/her out in the mirror

2 Compliment his/her physique or technique

3 Offer long, lustful looks to hypnotize him/her into exchanging phone numbers

4 Stalk him/her – even if it means returning to the locker room

When in the locker room, you:

1 Store your things and get the hell out

2 Store your things, take a quick shower if needed and sneak a look when you think it’s safe

3 Linger to chat and check out the scenery, and take a soak in the hot tub if there is one

4 Take a long steamy shower, after which you “dry off naturally” for several minutes

All done! Total your points by adding the numbers that you’ve selected.

1-9 points: You’re a gym rat. You hit the gym to workout and that’s it. You have little patience for crowds.

10-18 points: You’re a gym dawg. You’re a pretty dedicated workout animal, but you can also be fairly social and pretty sly about checking people out.

21-27 points: You’re a gym bunny. Your gym doubles as social club and cruising spot. You often hop around chatting and using whatever equipment is convenient or in eyeshot of a hot dawg.

28-36 points: You’re a gym queen. You may not be big and buff, but you rule the gym. Need I say more?