Another year in entertainment has come and gone, and while it seemed that some celebrities’ bad behavior eclipsed actual pop culture events (do the names Britney Spears, Paris Hilton and Lindsay Lohan ring a bell? Trust me, it ain’t an angel gettin’ its wings, mmkay!), there were plenty of other moments that made up the year at large. We’ve got a lot of ground to cover, so let’s get to it!

TV

Worst case of eye blinking: It was really no surprise that “Viva Laughlin,” the dramedy that includes characters who burst into song was cancelled after only two episodes – but what is a tad humorous is that the show was maligned for its acting and plot, and not the musical numbers. This was definitely not a feather in the cap for executive producer, Hugh Jackman, or star Melanie Griffith. But, no need to worry about her, she’ll bounce back … on her collagen-injected lips.

Scariest cheerleading moment: It didn’t have anything to do with Claire on “Heroes.” Rather, it was Richard Simmons surprising Jenny Garth with an inspirational cheer on “Dancing with the Stars.” The biggest surprise: he is still rockin’ those Dolphin shorts? Does he really think he’s fooling anyone? Come out already! It’s not like he actually has a career that could be damaged.

Spookiest Baby Jane impression: For the record, I do not watch “Dancing With The Stars.” I’d rather clean my toilet – but there are always clips of the show on entertainment programs! Just felt a need to clarify that. As an aside, how loose is the show’s terminology? Stars? Really?

Anyhoo, Marie Osmond dressed up as a wind-up doll (shameless creepy doll-line plug) for her swan song dance routine, which should have been sponsored by Calvin Klein’s Desperation – ‘cuz, you could smell it comin’ off the TV!

Saddest and sweetest departures: “Match Game” panelists Charles Nelson Reilly and Brett Somers sat next to each other on that beloved ’70s game show for years, and sadly both died this year. Rest in peace!

Biggest media circus departure: Anna Nicole Smith’s death was a spectacle from the get-go. I am really hoping that Larry Birkhead and Howard K. Stern don’t decide to cash in on Rita Cosby’s book allegations that they were gay lovers and try to start up a new version of the ’80s sitcom, “My Two Dads.”

Worst Emmy loss: Out actor Neil Patrick Harris’ losing a statue for his role as a womanizer on “How I Met Your Mother” – c’mon people, that’s acting!

Best reason to have your TV scotch guarded: A second installment of “I Love New York,” and the MTV dating show, “A Shot At Love With Tila Tequila,” which does get props for its bisexual dating game slant; points are deducted, though, for the 20 showers you need to take after watching.

Best basis to change the grading curve: Kathy Griffin winning an Emmy and finally getting props for her show “My Life on The D-List.” She’s got to be at least a C + by now, right?

Worst way to change public opinion: Paula Abdul’s “loopy” behavior on her reality show, “Hey Paula,” is an abject lesson that less really is more. The show did nothing to garner sympathy for Abdul, and should have been called “WTF, Paula?” There’s only so many times you can trot out the “I’m exhausted and had to appear on QVC” card.

Biggest stretch: Sure, I can believe that Beyoncé is a busy gal on the go in that “American Express” commercial she appeared in, but … her nephew wanted her to buy him a boomerang? A boomerang!? Way to think big, kid!

Most disturbing toy commercial: The pixilated Elmo doll and the secret of his “abilities” are far more disconcerting than say, an “I Love New York” doll for kids (“New York’s Dream Pinto” and “Free Clinic Set with reserved parking spot” sold separately).

Gayest moment: On “Ugly Betty’s” Christmas show, when Marc said he still had the Christmas lights up in his closet after turning it into a nightclub! Oh, and his homemade Madonna and Child ornament was that of The Material Girl and daughter Lourdes (son Rocco was The Star of Bethlehem).

Biggest waste of time: Did anyone watch “Sunset Tan?” Hello? I didn’t think so! I wouldn’t admit it either if I were you!

Funniest “a-ha” moment: When a cater waiter serving crab cakes sparks a revelation that Nicolette Sheridan’s Edie of “Desperate Housewives” figures out her case of crabs has spread to lover, Carlos, who is having an affair with ex-wife Gaby, who is married to the mayor, Victor.

Biggest cheat: No, it’s not “Lost” coming back in February – although, it should be! It is a two-fold bamboozle from two other ABC shows, “Desperate Housewives” and “Ugly Betty.” “DH” has forever claimed that one of the lead “Housewives” will kick the bucket, so when Edie hung herself at season’s end, it looked like that promise may come true. Of course, trying to hang yourself with a flimsy scarf is not the way to go!

“UB” had hottie Santos (Kevin Alejandro) shot at the end of the season cliffhanger, and then he appeared in the first episode alive – oh joyous day! Only, it turns out, he was just an apparition in bereaved Hilda’s (Ana Ortiz) mind!

Character that needs to come out: Kenneth (Jack McBrayer) on “30 Rock.”

Best drama infusion and worst punishment on a reality show: Having two gay exes be housebound together on “Big Brother 8”

Best case of TV karma: After Isaiah Washington was “dismissed” from “Grey’s Anatomy,” he landed a gig on the disappointing “Bionic Woman” remake. Ha ha!

Best lesbian sex scene: Transgen-der Mrs. Garrison of “South Park” discovered the joys of being a scissor sister by visiting a bar called Les Bos.

Most realistic TV occupation for a gay man: The newest kid on the judicial block, Judge David Young doles out justice with sass!

Worst TV departure: Rosie O’ Donnell calling it quits on “The View” after her on-air fight with Elisabeth Hasselbeck. I wish it could have been resolved with a G.L.O.W. (Gorgeous Ladies Of Wrestling – remember that from the ’80s?) match – cuz we know who would have won that one!

Movies

Best movie title for a gay porn tie-in: Mr. Magorium’s Wonder Emporium with Dustin Hoffman and Natalie Portman could be re-christened Mr. Orgasmic’s House of The Sextastic. And all you yellow hanky lovers will enjoy the transformation that the Adam Sandler vehicle Reign Over Me undergoes – it becomes Rain On Me. Hot Fuzz, Balls of Fury, and Shooter can keep their titles intact!

Worst movie title for a gay porn tie-in: Mr. Woodcock – ouch, splinter factor!

Worst use of CGI: Making Nicole Kidman’s lips move on her immobile, ahem Botoxed face in The Golden Compass.

Best use of CGI: Bumblebee “lubricating” on a human in Transformers, and Beowulf fighting Grendel au natural – except there were no full frontal shots, and that’s a perfectly good waste of 3-D!

Worst movie trend: Films with big stars attached bombing – there was a time when putting Tom Cruise, Robert Redford and Meryl Streep in the same film would line audiences up around the block, but it wasn’t to be for their film Lions for Lambs. Maybe people thought it was a poorly titled remake of Silence of the Lambs? Evan Almighty with Steve Carell didn’t fare much better.

Most welcome comeback: Michelle Pfeiffer in Hairspray was back in a big way this summer. Even though her other flick, Stardust, failed to set the box office on fire, it was great to see this over-40 actress back on the big screen again.

Benefit of seeing Spider-Man 3 on an IMAX screen: When Beyoncé sang, “To the left, to the left,” in “Irreplaceable,” she may have been referring to Topher Grace’s package positioning in the Web-slinging installment – if you know what I mean (and I am sure you do!)

Best sequels: Live Free Or Die Hard asks audiences to suspend your belief that 50-something Bruce Willis is still as bad ass as he was nearly 20 years ago in the original flick; and, in a big F-U to ageism, he is! Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix delved into darker territory, and may just be the best one of the series, if you ask me. You didn’t? Well, too bad!

Great way to make a movie more gay: If you are the upcoming film version of Sex and The City, just add Jennifer Hudson from Dreamgirls, and voila, you are more gay than little pink shoes –Manolo Blahniks, of course!

Worst time-machine movie: While there were no flying DeLorean’s involved in I Now Pronounce You Chuck and Larry, the movie seemed to be locked in the vault from the days when gay panic flicks were all the rage.

Queerest line uttered: Upon seeing Bart Simpson’s penis, little Ralph Wiggum proclaimed, “I like men now!” in The Simpsons Movie.

Worst chick flick: Music and Lyrics with Hugh Grant and Drew Barrymore hit a sour note.

Most impressive casting: Evening boasted a star-studded cast of leading ladies, such as Meryl Streep, Vanessa Redgrave and Toni Collette. Oh yeah, Claire Danes was in it, too.

Best homoerotic history lesson: 300 wins it with its depiction of well-defined chests and rock-hard abs, oh, and something to do about a war waged in ancient times.

Music

Best song to heed as advice: “Never Again” indeed, Kelly Clarkson! Did you really think you knew more than music mogul Clive Davis, whose advice you went against on your troubled CD, My December? Love ya girl, mean it!

Everyday word used in a lyric, now forever changed: Umbrella, ella, ella, eh, eh, eh – thanks to Rihanna’s song “Umbrella,” ella, ella, eh, eh, eh … dammit!

Most head scratching word used in a song: In Fergie’s hit song, “Glamorous,” she refers to the “flossy, flossy.” Is it a reference to wearing a thong or dental hygiene? They are kind of one in the same, actually. Whenever I see some poor, I mean, intrepid soul sporting a thong, it reminds me to floss.

Best/worst magic trick: Beyonce still “singing” her song, “Ring The Alarm,” while falling down the stairs during a concert.

Best concerts that prove gay men are 13-year-old girls at heart: Justin Timberlake, Hilary Duff (for the record, I took two of my nieces – I’m just sayin’!) and the recently reunited Spice Girls.

Most surprising concert additions and omissions: During “The True Colors Tour,” Cyndi Lauper, finally and for the first time ever, sang the theme song to The Goonies live. And, during the same concert, fellow headliner, Debbie Harry, did not sing a single Blondie tune, not one, zip, zero, nada. But she did play a song from her new CD entitled “White Out.” Oh, Debbie!

Most apropos song to sum up the year in celebrity: Amy Winehouse’s “Rehab.”

Song you couldn’t escape from if you tried: “What Goes Around … Comes Around” by Justin Timberlake

Even-if-you’ve-never-been-cheated-on song of the year: Carrie Underwood’s “Before He Cheats” resonated with anyone who had been wronged.

Best new girl groups: Both The Puppini Sisters and The Pipettes reached back into the past to produce two of the better CDs this year.

Worldwide Inter-Web

Best Internet rumor: That Maureen McCormick and Eve Plumb, a.k.a. Marcia and Jan Brady of “The Brady Bunch” were off-screen lesbian lovers. Alas it was false, but it certainly gave a whole different meaning to “we are family.”

Weirdest/funniest You Tube video: Join former “Young and the Restless” bad girl, Brenda Dickson, as she welcomes you into her home (a condo, really) for this made-in-the-1980s lesson-filled video on fashion (gold lamé is comfortable and gowns are dramatic), how to teleport into one’s closet, the importance of diet and exercise, etc.

But to see an even better version, a hilarious parody that will have you holding your vageene (it will make sense when you see said video), log onto You Tube and type in Brenda Dickson!

Food flashback: There is a site that is dedicated to reminding us how lucky we are to live today and not 33 years ago – food-wise, that is! http://www.candyboots.com/wwcards.html has unearthed Weight Watchers cards from the mid-‘70s! Who knew there were so many uses for mackerel in recipes of days gone by – and who wouldn’t want to sample Marcy’s “Enchilada?”

Celebrities

Pictures that make you feel like a dirty old man: Daniel Radcliffe (Harry Potter) all growed up in stills from Equus; and Hairspray and High School Musical’s Zac Efron shirtless in Rolling Stone.

Biggest celeb trend: Breaking the law and going to rehab and or jail for whole hours, or even days at a time! Oh, the inhumanity!

Hair do: By far Victoria Beckham’s hairstyle was the most copied this year. She certainly gives new meaning to the term soccer mom!

Hair don’t: Katie Holmes’ ode to “Mad TV’s” Miss Swan. And, while not technically a celeb, (tick tock, those 15 minutes are about up!) Sanjaya Malakar of “American Idol” sported plenty of hair don’ts this year.

Best of Britney’s worst moments: Damn, it’s hard to pick just one! Was it the many driving infractions? The head shaving/attacking a car with an umbrella (ella, ella…)? The lackluster VMA performance? Losing her kids to K-Fed? Hmm, sadly, it is all of the above! Girl, get it together! Oh, I forgot, Chris Crocker said that I’m supposed to ”Leave Britney alone!”

Cut! Print! That’s A Wrap!

Who knows what lies in store for us in ’08 in the world of popular culture? But, one thing we can glean from the year that was entertainment in ’07 is this: If you can’t do the time, then don’t do the crime – unless you have 82 minutes to spare, like Nicole Richie did! Until next time, that’s all of the news that’s fit to print!