For television fans, the air is pregnant with anticipation, and a slew of newborn shows bring the opportunity to care and nurture a new favorite; adopting as our own as fervently as Angelina Jolie in a third world country.

If you’re looking to adopt a gay show, though, it’s slim pickins’.

Typically, the fall season signals change but not much has changed regarding depictions of gays and lesbians on television.

Thus begins my annual rant about gay invisibility on the tube but – before you say, “Get down off that soap box – you have heels on!” – the research backs me up.

GLAAD’s 12th Annual Diversity Study reported last year (the 2007-2008 TV season) gays and lesbians only made up “1.1 percent of character representation” on broadcast television shows, which “are improving in quality, but the actual number of these characters on the networks continues to decline.”

The report also noted, “there have been improvements made in how we are seen on the broadcast networks, most notably on ABC, [but] our declining representation clearly indicates a failure by the networks to inclusively reflect the audience watching television.”

Meanwhile, “the number of LGBT characters found on scripted cable programming … has reached an all-time high,” GLAAD reported.

The report said “of the 650 regular or supporting characters counted, there were seven LGBT characters to be found on only five scripted programs. Six of these seven characters are found on a single network, ABC. While gay, bisexual and transgender characters are represented, not one of the lead or supporting characters on the networks has been established as a lesbian. There are also no lead or supporting LGBT characters on the CBS, FOX or The CW schedules.”

It isn’t as if gays, lesbians, bisexuals and transgender folks have been eradicated from the small screen – no, I’m not talking about the train wrecks who crop up on daytime TV’s “Jerry Springer.” There were a number scripted into prime time last season.

Last season alone there was a same-sex wedding on “Brothers & Sisters” between Kevin (Matthew Rhys) and Scotty (Luke McFarland), and Uncle Saul (Ron Rifkin) came out making him one of the few over-60 gay characters on television.

“Ugly Betty” gave Michael Urie’s Marc a beau, Cliff (David Blue), for a few episodes.

“Lost” finally outed a gay character, Tom (M.C. Gainley), who was on the show all along – no wonder he was one of “The Others”!

“Desperate Housewives” introduced new gaybors, Bob and Lee (Tuc Watkins and Kevin Rahm); the show even featured Bree (Marcia Cross) pimping out her gay son, Andrew (Shawn Pyfrom) to a gay contractor to get her roof fixed. (Still, she’s a better candidate than Dina Lohan for Mother-of-the-Year.)

“ER” may have lost its resident lesbian doctor, Kerry Weaver (Laura Innes), but last year had appearances by Dr. Gregory Pratt’s gay half-brother Chaz Pratt (Sam Jones III), and introduced a gay Latino desk clerk, Javier (Jesse Borrego). Muy groundbreaking! Also on NBC was gay paper pusher Oscar (Oscar Nunez), the accountant of “The Office.”

Lesbians and bisexuals did have TV representation on NBC’s update of “Knight Rider,”; although it is rumored that Sydney Tamila Poitier’s character may come back retooled as straight, which is about as ridiculous as remaking “Knight Rider” without David Hasselhoff – oh, wait, that’s what they’re doing.

An out-of-nowhere Sapphic storyline occurred on “Grey’s Anatomy,” when a lesbian/ bisexual storyline (neither lady had previous same-sex relations) was introduced during the spring, culminating in a passionate smooch at season’s end between Dr. Callie Torres (Sara Ramirez) and Dr. Erica Hahn (Brooke Smith). These two may be TV’s only lesbian couple this fall.

Transgender characters were the must-have television accessory last season; with Alexis Meade (Rebecca Romijn) remaining a strong fixture on “Ugly Betty” and real-life transgender actress, Candis Cayne, proving she could dish it out just as well as the dysfunctional Darling family on “Dirty Sexy Money.” And, Logo heralded in a new type of reality dating show with “Transamerican Love Story” featuring Calpernia Addams.

Speaking of Logo, the channel gave us animated gays and lesbians on “Rick & Steve: The Happiest Gay Couple in All the World,” the TV version of “Sordid Lives,” the dating lives of lesbians with “Exes and Ohs,” and went for laughs with “The Big Gay Sketch Show.”

And here!TV continued its popular shows, “Dante’s Cove,” “The DL Chronicles” and “The Lair.”

Meanwhile, regular Joes, Brian (Brian Posehn) and Steve (Steve Agee), gave a different gay take on “The Sarah Silverman Program,” as her pot smoking, video game playing neighbors and friends on the Comedy Central show.

AMC’s “Mad Men” is set in advertising during the 1960s, and one of the ad men is closeted.

And, in keeping with the add-a-gay kid tradition, which has blossomed during the past few years, FX’s “The Riches” has a cross-dressing youngest son (Aidan Mitchell); the downside to that is when your TV mom is played by Minnie Driver, that wardrobe consists mostly of Equestrian wear. Giddy up, horsy!

Also on FX, “The Shield” delved into the Questioning aspect of gay life with Michael Jace as a very religious and at-odds- with-his sexuality police officer. And the “B” in GLBT, was showcased on “Dirt,” with a character named Leo Spiller.

“Greek” is putting the “family” in ABC Family by featuring a storyline with an outed gay jock.

The gays also made the usual reality show rounds, most notably Christian Siriano on “Project Runway.”

“The L Word” continued to captivate audiences on Showtime, whose president of entertainment, Robert Greenblatt, was quoted as saying that the program “surpassed its niche as a gay show.”

Another of Showtime’s series, “Weeds,” had Celia’s (Elizabeth Perkins) young daughter (played by Allie Grant) come out to her, and also features a recently out-of-the-closet, Sanjay (Maulik Pancholy), who also appears on “30 Rock.”

On “The Tudors,” Joe Van Moyland plays gay composer (is there any other kind?) Thomas Tallis – I was hoping the gay character on that show would be played by hottie Jonathan Rhys Meyers, cuz that’s a perfectly good waste of some DSL’s.

As for the casualties, cancelled “Cashmere Mafia” Bonnie Somerville’s bisexual character, Caitlin Dowd, took a ratings bullet. “Men In Trees” boyfriends George (Orlando Jones) and Terri (Mario Cantone) got the axe.

Out with old and in with the new. What can television viewers expect with the new fall season? Well, not many new GLBT faces, though there are some familiar plotlines.

Will McCormack on ABC’s “Brothers & Sisters,” was the artist formerly known as bisexual on “Dirt.” Meanwhile “Queer as Folk’s” resident man whore, Brian Kinney (a.k.a. actor Gale Harold) is sure to stir things up on “Desperate Housewives.”

Real-life GLBT actors are turning up on television. Sara Gilbert rejoin her former “Roseanne” co-star, Johnny Galecki, for a short stint on CBS’s “The Big Bang Theory.” Openly bisexual actress Saffron Burrows will be on NBC’s “My Own Worst Enemy,” alongside openly imitating Jack Nicholson actor, Christian Slater.

There is going to be a twist to The CW’s “America’s Next Top Model,” – the show will have its first transgender contestant. And on“Gossip Girl,” one of the male characters will grapple with his sexuality.

Lance Bass will appear on “Dancing with the Stars,” though he’ll be dancing with Lacey Schwimmer. Nowhere in the promo material for the show does it mention that Bass is gay – now that is queer!

“The New Adventures of Old Christine’s” Julia Louis-Dreyfus will wed Barb (Wanda Sykes), in what could be either a singular episode arc, or a part of the entire season. This doesn’t necessarily mean the two are going to be actual lesbians; they may have just caught I Now Pronounce You Chuck & Larry a few too many times on cable.

Bravo is currently showing a real lesbian, Tabatha Coffey, giving struggling salons her critique on “Tabatha’s Salon Takeover,” Thursdays at 10 p.m.

Viewers can also expect less new shows this year (20 to be exact versus 26 on prime time last season), due to last year’s writers’ strike.

It seems cable will be the place to see more gay content than on the Big Four Networks (when will The CW count as five?).

“Opportunity Knocks” (Tuesdays, 8 p.m., Sept. 23) begs the question: “What if you received a knock on your door, and found a game show waiting for you on your front lawn?”

Host J.D. Roth gives unsuspecting families a chance to win hundreds of thousands of dollars in cash and a plethora of other prizes.

Queer factor: They should replace the host with Ed McMahon, who really needs the work. On second thought, the host is easy on the eyes, kind of like Ty Pennington, without the bullhorn or D.U.I. arrest.

Queer Detractor: There is a two-fold queer detractor here. One, the show could interrupt the “naked Sunday” activities some couples enjoy. And, really, with the work most gays put into a beautiful yard – would they really want camera crews traipsing all over it?

“Life On Mars” (Thursdays, 10 p.m., Oct. 9) is based on an English program, features a former “Cosby” kid (Lisa Bonet), a retired-by-death Mafioso (Michael Imerpioli of “The Sopranos”), the latest movie star to turn to television work, Harvey Keitel, and one weird premise.

Sam Tyler (Jason O’ Mara), a New York City detective is sent back through time from 2008 to 1973, after being struck by a car while chasing a bad guy. Tyler finds himself not only a proverbial fish out of water, but in the midst of the turbulent Vietnam War, Watergate, and the women’s liberation, civil and gay rights movement.

If that and trying to get back home weren’t enough to contend with, he develops a love triangle that spans 35 years, when he develops strong feelings for Annie Norris (Gretchen Mol), a member of The Police Women’s Bureau – while still holding out hope he can get back to his present day love, Maya (played by Bonet).

Queer factor: Keitel’s stern character, Lt. Gene Hunt, is described as having “earned the adoration of the men under him,” and would “rather use his fists than his brains to solve a crime.” All he needs is a sling, harness and jockstrap and he could be renamed “Lt. Daddy.”

Queer detractor: Despite including the gay rights movement, will gay viewers want to revisit the days of being known as fruits and fairies?

Do we really need a recap of “Knight Rider’s” (Wednesdays, 8 p.m., Sept. 24) plot?

OK, for those of you not around in the ’80s: a car (KITT) talks to its driver and together they thwart bad guys and such. The show single-handedly made David Hasselhoff a household name.

Queer factor: Mike Traceur (Justin Bruening), the show’s new “Knight Rider” was once an Abercrombie & Fitch model, soap opera fixture, and co-starred in the gay flick Fat Girls. Co-star Bruce Davison also knows his way around a gay movie set, appearing in It’s My Party, Six Degrees of Separation and Longtime Companion. Sadly, KITT is voiced by one-time hottie, Val Kilmer. I mean Alec Baldwin got puffy, too, but he’s still seen onscreen on “30 Rock.”

Queer detractor: Aside from the aforementioned making a character not bisexual - did we learn nothing from the remake of the “Bionic Woman”?

“My Own Worst Enemy” (Mondays, 10 p.m., Sept. 29) refers to star Christian Slater tackling the ole Jekyll and Hyde theme of dual personalities residing in one body.

Henry Spivey lives a ho-hum suburban life with the requisite wife, two kids, a dog and a mini-van.

But he is also Edward Albright, an operative trained in the fine art of killing. And when his two sides meet … it is murder. Oh, wait, that is from the opening credits of “Hart to Hart.” But, you get the gist.

Queer factor: Gay viewers may tune in to see if Slater’s Heather’s co-star, Winona Ryder, will make a guest appearance. If she does, she’ll likely steal the show (this joke was sponsored in part by the year 2001, the year Ryder was busted for shoplifting). Also co-stars bisexual actress Saffron Burrows.

Queer detractor: Since Slater is playing two characters-in-one – couldn’t one of them have been gay? I’m just sayin’.

The Americanized “Kath & Kim” (Thursdays, 8:30 p.m., Oct. 9) comes to the shores of The Peacock Network from Down Under. This version of the hit Australian comedy stars Molly Shannon and Selma Blair as a dysfunctional mother and daughter duo, who are forced to live under the same roof again, when Kim’s marriage flounders. Some Web sites have hailed this as the second coming of “Ab Fab” – let’s hope so sweetie, darling.

Queer factor: Both actresses have gay street cred; Shannon for her guest spots on “Will & Grace” and “Sex and the City” and Blair who costarred as Ursula Udders in John Waters’ A Dirty Shame. Costar John Michael Higgins was a hilariously gay scene stealer in the movie Best in Show.

Queer detractor: Press reports states there are worries that the real-life eight year age difference between Shannon and Blair (Shannon is 44, Blair is 36), and them playing mother and daughter would not be believable to audiences.

“Crusoe” (Fridays, 8 p.m., Oct. 17) is adapted from the classic novel Robinson Crusoe by Daniel Defoe (see, I can read), about a man (Phillip Winchester) stranded on a desert island with “native friend” Friday (Tongayi Chirisa). The show will chronicle the hectic times of survival on the island and flashbacks about Crusoe’s former life in England. Hmm, sounds a wee bit like “Lost.”

Queer factor: Island life could prove to get awfully “lonely” for Crusoe, and Friday may need to be wary of a glazed over look on his new friend’s face.

Queer detractor: How long his 17th Century garb remains intact may seal its fate with gay viewers. And, they didn’t have Bowflex’s back then – so how ripped could Crusoe be?

Another television import, “Worst Week” (Mondays, 9:30 p.m., Sept. 22) also comes to us from Jolly Old England. Poor schlep Sam (Kyle Bornheimer) can’t seem to do anything right around his girlfriend’s parents, and with a bun in her oven and impending wedding, he really needs to win them over.

Queer factor: It uses Paula Abdul’s “Opposites Attract” for the show’s theme song (it’s not like she’s using it).

Queer detractor: Doesn’t take a queer eye to see this straight guy show has a thinner premise than the diaper Sam sports in the promos.

“The Mentalist” (Tuesdays, 9 p.m., Sept. 23) is a former shyster psychic, who feigned his abilities and obtained a somewhat celebrity notoriety. But now, Patrick Jane (Simon Baker) is using his keen sense of scrutiny for good, as a consultant for the California Bureau of Investigation, cracking tough nut cases. Maybe he can figure out why CBS is fixated on procedural dramas.

Senior Agent Teresa Lisbon (Robin Tunney) is none-too-pleased with his involvement on her team and his grandstanding ways.

Queer factor: Perhaps admitted lesbian and former psychic charlatan, Miss Cleo, will guest star on “a very special episode,” about the importance of telling the truth.

Queer detractor: Star Simon Baker was the not-so-nice guy trying to woo Anne Hathaway in The Devil Wears Prada – and hasn’t our gal had enough of that in real life?

Jay Mohr stars in the comedy, “Gary Unmarried,” (Wednesdays, 8:30 p.m., Sept. 24) about a recent divorcee, balancing raising two teenagers, dealing with his stringent ex-wife and a new love, Vanessa (Jaime King).

Queer factor: Gary and ex-wife Allison (Paula Marshall) fire lame insults back and forth at each other – and could definitely use some pointers from gay couples on how it’s done. And, their son is afraid of girls, which could make him a gay-in-training.

Queer detractor: The way that Gary moves quickly into his new relationship still does not qualify him as either a gay man or a lesbian.

What if you had already met your soul mate and let him slip away, and a psychic told you to search out this mystery date in a year’s time or lose him forever?

Well, that’s the dilemma facing Bella Bloom (Elizabeth Reaser) on “The Ex-List,” (Fridays, 9 p.m., Oct. 23) which is described as a “fantasy/dramedy.”

Queer factor: Sounds like a weekly dose of a chick flick.

Queer detractor: Talk about a gay man’s nightmare! You mean you’re supposed to get your tricks’ names? Interesting!

Well, whaddaya know – it’s another show that originated in England! And, “The Eleventh Hour” (Thursdays, 10 p.m., Oct. 9) is another science investigation-based CBS series – double bonus! Rather than another “CSI” franchise, this show is drawing comparisons to “The X-Files,” as Jacob Hood (Rufus Sewell) is brought in at the titular time frame to uncover scientific anomalies.

Queer factor: Star Sewell was in the gay film, Carrington.

Queer detractor: May isolate gay viewers if he explains what happened to Madonna’s face this past summer. I kid because I love.

While on paper, it may not seem that writer/executive producer J.J. Abrams is spreading his creative wings with “Fringe,” (Tuesdays, 9 p.m., Sept. 9) a thriller revolving around a plane full of dead people – maybe they were on Oceanic Flight 815 from “Lost”?

But, it’s the ensuing investigation by FBI Special Agent Olivia Dunham (Anna Torv), who must enlist a mentally unstable doctor (John Noble) that has “Fringe” being likened to a blending of “The Twilight Zone” and “The X-Files.”

Queer factor: Kickin’ it third grade, an actor on the show is named Lance Reddick.

Queer detractor: The pilot episode was leaked online this summer, and when yellow hanky lovers found out it isn’t what they thought it meant, the show lost that demographic.

If you transported NBC’s “The Office” workplace ensemble to a hotel setting you’d get “Do Not Disturb,” (Wednesdays, 9:30 p.m., Sept. 10) but that all depends on the laugh factor (or track), naturally. Unfortunately, the lead actor is Jerry O’Connell, whose “Carpoolers,” stalled in the low ratings slow lane last year on ABC. So, well see if this inn is really the in spot for TV viewers.

Queer factor: Co-star, Brandon Eaton’s character is an inexperienced bellman who’s hired to show off his good looks and nice body. Pity!

Queer detractor: Growing attached to a non-animated comedy on FOX, and making a drinking game out of how many weeks until it would be cancelled could be a great way to stop drinking altogether. Are you paying attention, Shia LeBeouf?

There are several new shows debuting on The CW (“Privileged,” “In Harm’s Way,” “Surviving Suburbia,” “Valentine,” “4-Real” and “Easy Money”), but one show seems to be eclipsing those in terms of anticipation. That’s right, “Everybody Hates Chris” is back for a new season!

Of course I jest. It’s “90210” (Tuesdays, 8 p.m., Sept. 2) that is causing all of the fuss, and the tagline promises “New drama. Same zip code.”

West Beverly Hills High School transfer students Annie (Shenae Grimes) and her adopted black brother, Dixon (Triston Wilds) pick up where Brenda and Brandon left off, maneuvering the shark infested waters of their new school; and their ill-ease is not helped by the fact that their dad (Rob Estes) is the new principal of the school.

Familiar faces from the original come in the form of Jennie Garth (Kelly Taylor) as the school’s guidance counselor and Shannen Doherty (Brenda Walsh) as an established director, who is helming the school’s musical production. Good thing they didn’t have her working at an art gallery – folks may have gotten her face confused with a Picasso painting.

Queer factor: Uh, bitchy rich girls and possible catfights – hello! Also, since Garth and Doherty hated each other in real-life, it will be interesting to see the on-air chemistry between the two.

Queer detractors: For gay fans, the exclusion of Tori Spelling from the show may be a disappointment. Looks like Donna Martin didn’t graduate to the spin-off.

Also worth mentioning is “Stylista,” (Wednesdays, 9 p.m., Oct. 22) described on The CW as “if The Devil Wears Prada were a reality show,” on which hopeful fashion types compete for a job at Elle magazine.

Queer factor: Gee, I am going to go out on a limb and say the gays may watch this one …

Queer detractor: But only if they switch the night – it’s on to Thursday at 8 p.m. when “Ugly Betty” airs.

HBO is bringing homo back … yup. “True Blood,” a tale of the undead (vampires to be specific, which we all know involves a lot of sucking) is being brought to life by Alan Ball (“Six Feet Under”), and will feature a gay, if rather flashy, character named Lafayette (Nelsan Ellis).

And, in keeping with the importing craze the networks have glommed onto, HBO has not one, but two foreign exports heading to its channel.

England’s “Little Britain,” is being cleverly rechristened “Little Britain USA.” No need to fret: the out and straight duo that created the original, Matt Lucas and David Williams, will star in this version with all of their bizarro characters intact, plus a promised 10 new ones. Maybe Dafydd Thomas won’t be the only gay in the village, anymore. Plus, there are guest stars, such as Paul Rudd playing a gay Prime Minister of England and Rosie O’Donnell as herself – way to stretch those acting chops, Ro Ro. (Sept. 7)

“Summer Heights High” is an Australian show that lampoons life in high school – oh, so it’s similar to “The Hills.” Actually, the USA version, much like the Aussie one, will star Chris Lilley as a juvenile delinquent in the grips of break-dance fever, a rather smarmy female student, and a drama teacher that, gasp, plays for our team. (November)

LOGO’s “Shirts & Skins,” follows a real-life San Francisco gay basketball team’s quest for glory (not glory holes), starting Sept. 15 at 10 p.m.; and for the record, I’ll take skins for $100 please – oh, it’s not a game show?

Speaking of game shows, lesbian comic Judy Gold will be hosting a new version of “The Newlywed Game” on GSN – but that is in the pilot stages, as of now. Maybe they’ll let some recently wed lesbians and gays partake – and I will venture the guess that they will one-up the infamous, “That would be up the butt, Bob,” answer to the question of the strangest place where whoopee was made.

Thankfully the upcoming Showtime comedy, “The United States of Tara,” will not feature washed-up party girl Tara Reid, but will star Toni Collette (“you’re terrible, Muriel”) as a housewife with multiple personality disorder. She is married to John Corbett of “SATC,” and is also raising an out gay son (Kier Gilchrist).

“Nurse Jackie,” another Showtime pilot, starring Edie Falco, will feature a gay Muslim (Haaz Sleiman) co-worker and confidant to the titular character.

Looks like FOX could go from the outhouse to the “Dollhouse,” a show created by Joss “Buffy The Vampire Slayer” Whedon, and which stars dishy Eliza Dushku, and promises to have gay characters and storylines – so we shall see when the show hits the airwaves in January.

“The L Word’s” final season begins on Jan. 4th, 2009 and will last for eight episodes. It will also feature former Showgirl Elizabeth Berkley as the one-that-got-away from Jennifer Beals – perhaps she wasn’t stocked up on towels and last minute ice cubes? But, there is good news among the sad – there will be a spin off of “The L Word,” focusing on a yet unnamed main character.

“America’s Next Top Model” (Wednesdays, 8 p.m., Sept. 3) will feature it’s first ever transgender contestant, Isis, a twenty-two year old from Maryland.

Looks like the “Brothers & Sisters” (Sundays, 10 p.m., Sept. 28) on ABC, will be getting a new brother, since Rebecca (Emily VanCamp) turned out not to be their half-sibling. Maybe that will make the kinda creepy Justin (Dave Annable) and you-could-have-been-my-sister-but-since-you-aren’t-let’s-date plotline with Rebecca more palpable? The new “Brother” is described as an “All-American golden boy,” sounds ripe with possibilities

Returns Sundays at 10, beginning September 28th.

Maybe “Ugly Betty” can confirm or deny if Lindsay Lohan is really on “our side,” as she is set for to appear on the season premiere, and then the fifth and sixth episodes. Apparently, she throws down with Betty, who gets her own apartment, and her sister (Ana Ortiz) continues seeing the Coach (Eddie Cibrian). No word if they will incorporate Rebecca Romijn’s pregnancy into the show, a la the real life “pregnant man.”

Returns Thursdays at 8, beginning September 25th.

“Heroes” (Mondays, 9 p.m., Sept. 22) will believe it or not (only if you are walking on air) be adding former “Greatest American Hero,” William Katt, to the cast. It remains to be seen if he can (or more likely can’t) fly, but if he’s sporting that ’fro from Carrie, he’ll need to make sure it’s aero-dynamically safe. If they are doing stunt casting – they should bring Lynda Carter and Lindsay Wagner on board.

The big question on “Desperate Housewives” (Sundays, 9 p.m., Sept. 28) fans lisp, I mean lips, is…is the show going to jump the shark by fast forwarding five years into the future? Plus, what was Gale Harold doing in Teri Hatcher’s kitchen? Does that mean that James Denton is off the show? And what about the gays – will they stick around? (Looking on Tuc Watkins and Kevin Rahm’s IMDB.com pages, they are only listed being on the show from 2007-2008).

What we do know is Gabby (Eva Longoria Parker) is letting herself go, after having children, and Lynette’s (Felicity Huffman) now teenaged ones are driving her nuts. Also, Bree (Marcia Cross) publishes her first cookbook, Katherine (Dana Delany) is on her staff, and Edie (Nicollette Sheridan) is set to return.

It also seems that several new neighbors are at the center of the mystery this season. Stay tuned!

So there you have it; all the scoop on the new shows, and the fact that the best place (aside from cable) to see reflections of the GLBT lifestyle is on ABC.

But, I do have one beef with the network … when you rerun shows, please show them in order – or better yet, to get people on board for the second season of pre-empted shows, such as “Pushing Daisies” and “Dirty Sexy Money,” try showing them at all. I’m just sayin’.

OK, I need to get off my soapbox - these heels are killing me. Until next time, that’s all of the news that’s fit to print.