My friend Jeffrey summed it up best. “Who do they think they are?” As we were sipping drinks during a Thursday trip to Bourbon Street, Jeffrey pointed out a trend I find annoying and unnecessary.

We cued the conversation when a fairly cute young man, also known as “Bobbylicious,” walked in to the bar, entourage of fag-hags in tow. Jeffrey knew all about the bleach-blonde Bobby and his babes – he even knew their schedule for the evening (they would start at Bourbon Street, head to a friend’s house for a quick costume change, and wind up at hip-hop night at Numbers). Oddly, though, Jeffrey has never met Bobby … he knew all this information because of a Bobby bulletin posted on the social networking site, MySpace.com. Our friend Bobby shed his formal surname (Robert), bypassed the nickname, Bobby, he picked up as a child, and dubbed himself “Bobbylicious.” The identity change is more than just a nickname or MySpace profile name – it’s a brand.

Yes, a brand. Like Madonna, Cher, Britney, Paula, and Pepsi. Jeffrey told me he’s noticed the trend in the young gay scene during the last several months. He was surprised I hadn’t noticed the fad, and feared I’d become wrapped up in a brand all my own – “Barfly Benny.” Jeffrey explained: People, typically young gay males 17-21, use skills they’ve yet to learn in marketing 101, and turn themselves into a product, complete with brand recognition.

Want to join the trend? It’s easy, I’m told. The first thing you do is create a new profile page on MySpace.com. Already have a page? Delete it! It’s not hip and might confuse your followers or, worse, taint the brand. On your new page, post several pictures of yourself in provocative poses (don’t forget the one that makes you look like a naughty school girl, complete with pouty eyes and an index finger positioned between your lips). Make sure to take the pictures yourself – the photos are much cooler if you take them in a mirror.

Step two: Name yourself. Think long and hard. Your new name is your brand, and will ultimately affect how clubgoers and barflys perceive you. Remember: Most people will be extremely annoyed with you, so be sure the name screams, “I don’t care what you think.” The brand must include your birth name or nickname and an adjective that mesh well.

Step three: Find a group of fag-hags who will follow you around wherever you go. This could be as easy as posting a MySpace bulletin soliciting new friends.

Lastly, post the ultimate MySpace bulletin that reads a little something like this: “Bitches … Bobbylicious and crew will be at Rich’s tonight. Be there.” Then, voilá, people will be swarming you at the club! You’ll be famous, a star. But, remember to completely ignore anyone who actually read your bulletin and may have showed up.

It seems that branding one’s self is the new way to claim a piece of fame in our local bar and club scene. So I’m going to do a little experiment and create a new brand of “Benny.” Be on the lookout for the MySpace bulletins!

In fact, you might read a bulletin about the next hot event: Montage Carnivale! Club Montage will be hosting a Carnivale/Mardi Gras party, Saturday, Feb. 9. Costumes and masks are encouraged! DJ Dan De Leon will spin high-energy music in the main room all night, with DJ ‘Lil Chris spinning hip-hop in the Atlantis Room. Montage is open from 10 p.m. to 4 a.m. and will certainly attract a hot crowd! Don’t miss out.

For more information visit www.clubmontage.com.