At age 71, San Diego resident Albert Kalian considers himself part of a generation of “invisible men.” The “invisible men,” Kalian says, are gay men older than 60 (or 50, 40, even 30, depending where you frequent), who get overlooked in the quest for the “hot young thing” on the dance floor.

Kalian doesn’t worry, however, if he’s snubbed by young men and says he has friends of all ages. When he moved to San Diego in 2003, he began networking right away, first at The San Diego LGBT Community Center and subsequently with other organizations, including Seniors Active in a Gay Environment (SAGE). He first set out to make friends and eventually started a prostate cancer survivors group for gay men (the second of its kind in California). Being an out and proud senior has reaped its rewards, though Kalian says he sees fear among his peers when it comes to coming out.

“Many people my age are still not out to their families and sometimes it seems like it’s 40 years ago,” he said.

Kalian’s observations point out an interesting conflict: While there is an organized, visible and vocal GLBT community in the United States, many GLBT seniors are still in the closet.

In 1973, the National Psychiatric Association removed homosexuality from its list of mental illnesses. By that time, many of the oldest members of the GLBT community were raised equating a gay lifestyle to a sickness. In the past two decades, GLBT Americans have been afforded more rights, including civil union rights and job protection in some states. Many older GLBT people were accustomed to loving in the closet to avoid discrimination before those laws were passed.

Discrimination against seniors in the GLBT community isn’t overt, says David Kirkman, executive director of the SAGE Center in San Diego – there is, however, a case of “out of sight out of mind.”

Coming out isn’t the worst of seniors’ problems – other issues include social isolation and discrimination by caregivers. The New York Times recently reported that gays and lesbians living in nursing homes or assisted-living centers, or receiving home care, increasingly report they have been disrespected, shunned and physically abused. Mistreatment based on homophobia has forced a generation of gays and lesbians, including many who have been out of the closet for decades, to go back into the closet in their twilight years.

The 2003 San Diego County LGBT Senior Healthcare Needs Assessment defined two tiers of ageism – ageism in American society and in the GLBT community. According to the study, GLBT seniors are “twice hidden” and subject to additional social discrimination.

“As a twice hidden group,” the assessment says, “these seniors find no safe haven in either mainstream society or their own communities.”

Karen Taylor, director of advocacy and training for New York-based Services and Advocacy for Gay Elders (unrelated to SAGE - Seniors Active in a Gay Environment) underscores the assessment, saying institutionalized homophobia makes it harder for GLBT seniors to access services and feel comfortable obtaining help.

“Fearing discrimination, gay and lesbian seniors will resist services such as nursing homes, yet because they don’t have others to fall back on they tend to go into nursing homes earlier,” she said. “And there, they feel pressured to go back in the closet. In addition, we’ve heard that some home health care aides, when they learn that their client is gay, sit and read the Bible to them, in order to ‘save’ them.”

Taylor points out social isolation is the biggest problem facing seniors, citing statistics that two-thirds of all people older than 65 live with another person, usually a spouse, sometimes another family member. With GLBT seniors, however, the opposite is true: two-thirds older than 65 live alone.

Aging gays and lesbians are finally getting attention at the local and federal level. The final report of the 2005 White House Conference on aging recommended expanding the definition of minority populations to include, gays, lesbians, bisexuals and transgender seniors, and increased federal funding to federal agencies to reduce health disparities and promote health promotion programming.

The inclusion was the result of work done by the National Gay and Lesbian Task Force’s focus on aging. The NGLTF’s efforts have focused on education, outreach and legislation, including a twice yearly National LGBT Aging Roundtable, which brings together aging GLBT activists and professionals to build a national network for those involved with GLBT elder issues, services, policies and advocacy.

Nationwide, cities, including Boston, New York, Chicago and Atlanta, are developing new GLBT aging projects to promote networking, and educate and train long-term care providers on issues of GLBT seniors.

In San Diego, organizations such as SAGE and Aging as Ourselves offer services, social networking and housing opportunities to help GLBT seniors step out of the shadows.

As an advocacy organization, SAGE San Diego works with local senior centers and long-term care facilities to create awareness and competency in caring for GLBT seniors.

The 25-year-old organization began as a drop-in center opened in 1999, where members could play cards, watch TV and chat. According to Kirkman, groups like SAGE are likely to catch on nationwide.

SAGE San Diego now falls under Aging as Ourselves, which is a unique organization, Kirkman says. Aging as Ourselves includes six mainstream and GLBT health and social service providers that work together to ensure senior services are delivered in a culturally sensitive manner, and that GLBT providers expand the types of services they offer to address specific health issues facing the population. Some of those issues include in-home care management, housing referrals, nutrition services, legal assistance, mental health counseling, HIV and health education, and in-home friendly visiting for homebound seniors. In addition, Aging as Ourselves trains health and social service providers and recruits and trains volunteers to help them understand the unique needs of aging GLBT adults.

“We’ve found massive institutional icebergs as GLBT people age in our society,” said Leane Marchase, executive director of ElderHelp, the lead agency in Aging as Ourselves. Marchase points to the lack of social security benefits to same-sex life partners, no Medicaid protections and inhospitable tax laws. And the roadblocks to hospital visitations and right-to-die declarations become of paramount importance in aging populations.

Marchese said groups like Aging as Ourselves, in 10 years, will help seniors have an active social network and be involved in the community. “In 10 years, a typical 75-year-old single gay man, if he needs care, will be able go anywhere in the county and be treated with dignity and not have the staff assume he is heterosexual,” she said. “Hospitals and nursing facilities will be more appropriate in their interaction with him.”

With the opening of Triangle Square last summer, Los Angeles became the first city in the nation with affordable housing specifically geared toward the GLBT senior community. It is not a nursing home or assisted living facility, according to Mark Supper, executive director of Gay and Lesbian Elder Housing (GLEH). Rather, Triangle Square is a subsidized upscale apartment complex for GLBT seniors who can’t afford the skyrocketing cost of housing in L.A.

Triangle Square has 105 apartments with eight two-bedroom and 97 one-bedroom units, all equipped with full-size kitchens, living rooms and wheelchair accessible bathrooms and bedrooms. The complex has a swimming pool, media room, library, game room, gym and computer labs. A large room on the main floor is used to host community gatherings.

The majority of Triangle Square residents self identify as GLBT, however housing facilities cannot legally ask the sexual orientation of an applicant. Residents were selected by participating in a lottery system and the response was huge, says program director Julissa Espinosa.

Two of the first Triangle Square residents, Jack Reavley and Bob Claunch, were also two of the first domestic partners registered in California and the stars of the documentary Bob and Jack’s 52-Year Adventure which premiered at FilmOut San Diego last year. Living on social security and a small pension, both can afford their $570 two-bedroom apartment, and have a ready-made social life of like-minded seniors.

“It’s nice to be with your own type of people,” Jack says. “Here we can be openly gay and holding hands – showing affection in public is not an issue.”

Affordable housing led Beverly Bassette, 62, to put her name in the lottery for Triangle Square, and she’s found the freedom to be out and open to be another benefit of living in the complex.

“I feel like we’re all brothers and sisters here,” she said. “I hope they can build more places like this.”

Triangle Square resident and female impersonator Aleis del Lago, a name taken from a character in a Tennessee Williams play, had to give up a $1,500 art deco apartment in West Hollywood after being diagnosed with shingles and Bell’s palsy last year.

“I could no longer perform, and in three more months I would have been on the streets,” said del Lago. Living in a senior village with mostly straight residents would have been very uncomfortable, del Lago, 70, admits.

Triangle Square may be a model for other nonprofit housing facilities that would cater to GLBT seniors. In January, the community-based senior housing advocate in San Francisco, Openhouse, announced it was joining with a private developer and the city to build a new housing facility for seniors who are unable to access market-rate facilities. The building, which will have at least 88 units will be defined as affordable housing according to city standards and available to people unable to access similar market-rate facilities. The project will be part of a larger initiative by AF Evans, under an agreement with the University of California, to develop a new community of rental apartments on the site, publicly-accessible parks and gardens, and new retail and community services facilities.

While California appears to be leading in finding solutions to GLBT senior housing, other areas are stepping up. In Boston, for example, a new nursing home will include a unit for gay and lesbian elderly and homes designed for older gay people with support services similar to assisted-living centers will also be available soon.

According to Taylor, many GLBT seniors are resilient despite the obstacles they face. “Many GLBT seniors have been living alone for a long time, so they’ve developed resilience,” she says. “In an older heterosexual couple, if a husband dies, the wife may have no idea where the bank account is, or the husband will have no idea how to cook a meal, if they’ve been living in traditional gender roles. GLBT seniors have learned to build networks of chosen families and we already look at the world differently regarding relationships.”

Taylor also points out many closeted seniors have formed a family of choice, and gay men who survived AIDS, while their friends did not, are also in danger of isolation.

Resilient or not, everyone needs a social network, especially as they age, says Kalian. “Develop friendships. Give to others. If you do that, and you keep your health up, you will be much happier,” he says. “Life for me, now, is pretty good.”