There is a familiar adage that everything old is new again, and that certainly holds true for the upcoming summer months. As popcorn provides comfort food, its buttery goodness assaulting you as you enter your local multi-plex, you may detect another smell… familiarity.

Hollywood is in the grip of a re-imagineering frenzy, taking classic or established titles and updating them for modern audiences. While adding a new spin to a tried-and-true is not an uncommon practice in Tinseltown, there seems to be a huge glut of them slated in a relatively short span of time

The re-imagineering craze also seems to be the bastard offshoot of another Hollywood ailment, sequel-itis. The names of some of this summer’s most anticipated movies reads like a laundry list of bygone days.

There’s the latest (and last) installment of the Star Wars prequels that ties up all of the details of how Anakin Skywalker becomes Darth Vader. Two things that I hoped this movie would accomplish were that the reason that Anakin becomes Darth (we’re tight, so I call them by their first names) is because he was called “Ani” in the last two movies, and that they would illuminate further on his disturbing “nightmares” from the second installment – looked like he was having a very special solo light saber fight if you ask me. This isn’t born out of concern, mind you, I just wanted to see another up-close errant nipple shot of Hayden Christensen.

Well, one out of two is good, as a very-buffed Christensen is displayed, but he is still referred to as “Ani.” I just waited for him to break into, “The Dark Side will come out tomorrow.”

Chewbacca marked a triumphant return to the screen after a 22-year absence. It was a case of “about time,” but not enough of the screen variety. Which was the same case for C-3P0, but his brand of nelly mincing really didn’t fit in this dark chapter. Yoda stole the show, he did. The third time was the charm for these prequels, but nothing will ever compare to the original three. (Playing now)

The Caped Crusader will be back in the guise of Christian Bale in Batman Begins, after George Clooney all but ended it circa 1997. This time there is no Robin, no Batgirl, no Tim Burton and no Joel Schumacher.

The fate of the franchise rests in the hands of Christopher Nolan, the man who brought us Memento and Insomnia. His take is to explore the origins of how the man became the bat. I can’t wait to see where he got the idea for the Bat pole!

Liam Neeson, in his 50th mentoring role (See Star Wars Episode One and Kingdom of Heaven for two other examples), shows Bale what it takes to be a hero. On board as villains are 28 Days Later hottie Cillian Murphy as The Scarecrow and The Last Samurai’s Ken Watanabe as Ra’s al Ghul (bless you!).

Another Six Degrees of Tom Cruise (well, two anyway) is that his latest paramour, Katie Holmes, provides the love interest. And, Michael Caine rounds out the cast, replacing the stalwart Michael Gough as Alfred, the faithful butler. One of only two actors who appeared in all of the last Batman movies (including Pat Hingle, who portrayed Commissioner Gordon) is being replaced by Gary Oldman. (Opens June 15)

While Herbie: Fully Loaded sounds vaguely like its star Lindsay Lohan’s penchant for partying, it’s much more innocent than that. It’s just a new take on Herbie The Love Bug, as he goes both digital and Nascar. (Opens June 22)

Here’s a dilemma: branching so far out of the familiar that while the idea borders on original, it still has its roots in its source material. Bewitched, based on the immensely popular television show that ran from 1964 to 1972, is facing this very problem.

Nicole Kidman is and is not playing Samantha Stephens. Rather, she’s an actress named Isabel who is picked to play the beautiful TV witch, and who happens to be a beautiful witch herself. Go-to funnyman Will Ferrell is and is not playing Darrin Stephens, but the actor tapped to star opposite Nicole. Was Jim Carrey not available to play this role? He looks Dickish, as in Sergeant and York – lanky like the former and rubber faced like the latter. Shirley MacLaine is and is not playing Endora… you getting the picture?

Confused? Disappointed might be the better adjective that describes the pit of my stomach whenever I see the preview or read more about the premise. Here’s hoping it could do the late Elizabeth Montgomery proud, or in the very least, that she can twitch her nose and make it go away if it does not do her justice. (Opens June 24)

Steven Spielberg delves into alien existence with War of the Worlds, making it a close encounter for the third time. But he promises these aliens won’t want to phone home, they’ll want to blow up your home. Tom Cruise, Tim Robbins and lil’ Dakota Fanning star in this update of the 1953 sci-fi classic that was based on the radio show that panicked America (which was based on the H.G. Wells novel read aloud on the radio). Creativity runs deep in Hollywood. (Opens June 29)

What summer would be complete without the requisite comic book adaptation? Aside from Batman Begins, we will also have The Fantastic Four defending us mere mortals against evildoers. Newly endowed with super powers, Mr. Fantastic (Ioan Gruffudd) has the ability to stretch his body parts at will – sounds like a fun date! The Human Torch (Chris Evans) is the epitome of hot, and has the gayest signature saying of any super hero ever, with “Flame On!” (Opens July 8)

The Tim Burton/Johnny Depp machine is re-teaming for their fourth collaboration, in Charlie and the Chocolate Factory. While none of us have been wailing, ala Veruca Salt, that “we want it now” in relation to seeing a revamped version of the 1971 Gene Wilder confectionary vehicle, Tinseltown responded otherwise. But Burton’s vision is always interesting. Depp, as Willy Wonka (looking a bit like Jack White of The White Stripes), re-teams with his Finding Neverland co-star Freddie Highmore, which could prove to be a golden ticket at the box office.

Besides, there’s the bonus of the movie not being a musical, so that damn “Oompa Loompa” song won’t get stuck in your head. And just think of the gay porn that could follow: Willie Wanker and the Chocolate Highway.

Next up for Burton and Depp, The Corpse Bride, a return to the stop-motion animation world, which is being released Sept. 23 and could be the next Nightmare Before Christmas. (Opens July 15)

The Bad News Bears re-team for a 2005-style makeover, though you wouldn’t know it from the young cast – they all look very 1976-ish. Add Billy Bob Thornton to a movie about children and sports, why I do believe you’ve got the movie gay men will be flocking to see! Really, I am not rolling my eyes. (Opens July 22)

OK, show of hands… how many of you had a pair of Daisy Duke shorts in the ’80s? OK, then… how many of you still own them? (I can’t raise my hand and type at the same time, people).

Well dust ’em off because The Dukes of Hazzard are back. Jessica Simpson will attempt to fill those aforementioned high ridin’ jean shorts as Daisy Duke. I’d rather see Johnny Knoxville and Seann William Scott (that’s a lot of first names!) don the Dukes myself. Sounds like this vehicle has all the makings of Dude, Where’s My General Lee? (Opens Aug. 5 – that’s the same day that The Pink Panther, starring Steve Martin and Beyoncè, opens. Talk about your two-for-one “specials”)

But fear not, oh lover of the new and wonderful, there is hope for you yet. There’s a smattering of independent flicks headed your way, too – some with gay flavor crystals. Happy Endings stars Lisa Kudrow, who’s re-teaming with filmmaker Don Roos (The Opposite of Sex), and co-stars Bobby Cannavale (Will’s last boyfriend on “Will & Grace”) along with indie darling Maggie Gyllenhaal and Bring It On’s Jesse Bradford.

Three Dancing Slaves is a story of three brothers who join a gang, and one of them is secretly gay – so I take it the gang is not called The Fuchsia Debs, then?

24 Hour Party People helmer Michael Winterbottom presents 9 Songs, a sexually charged flick. But, hands down, the best title for the summer goes to Guys and Balls, about an outed soccer star that forms an all-gay team and takes on his former bigoted team.

So, as temperatures and the box office soar during the summer months, the movies are but one way to beat the heat. Until next time, that’s all the news that’s fit to print.