The word diva has its roots in the Latin word for goddess. Time shrewdly observed in an October 2002 issue that a diva by definition is “rampaging female ego redeemed only in part by a lovely voice.” Meow-ouch – and I thought I was bitchy! The word was originally applied to great female opera singers, but now applies both positively and negatively to all performers. On the plus side, anyone who has expansive vocal talents and/or a command of the stage is diva-worthy. Dipping a toe into the negativity pool, someone who believes the only thing that matters is themselves and must have every whim catered to is also considered a diva, and probably some other choice words.

In gay layman terms, a diva is a fabulous woman we adore and place high on a pedestal. Below are new definitions of some beloved performers, and what they have done and are doing to keep themselves diva-licious.

Cher (divalongevicus): We all know the joke that in the event of a nuclear holocaust only cockroaches and Cher would remain. She is the only recording artist in history to score number-one hits in four successive decades, and has the record for longest span – 34 years – between number-one hits. In trying to find out any information on the formidable artistic force, it seems someone may have sprayed her career plans with Raid. There are no pending CDs, and it’s been three years since Living Proof – that’s a millennium in Cher years! As for the silver screen, there’s only the stalling of a movie, In The Pink, a proposed project about cosmetics saleswomen also starring Bette Midler and Britney Spears. Maybe that’s a good thing – remember her endorsement of friend Lori Davis’ line of hair care products? Who knew they were wig safe?

To date, the 325-show “Farewell Tour” has brought in $250 million dollars and remains the most successful solo tour by a female in history. Follow that, you bitches!

Madonna (divakharmachameleon): Do you remember when Mo was a man-eating boytoy, hell bent on world domination through song? Have 20 years really transpired since her first official movie, Desperately Seeking Susan, and her nude photos in both Playboy and Penthouse? Yes indeed, time is a cruel mistress. Long before she sported a certain little red string on her wrist, Madonna just wanted the world to dance.

Her approaching 10th studio album, Confessions On A Dancefloor, slated for release in November, should help in that endeavor. She is collaborating with Mirwais Ahadzai, who worked on both Music and American Life. Never one afraid to experiment (who hasn’t seen the book, Sex?), she is also taking part in a three-way – musically speaking, of course. Swedish producer/songwriters Bloodsky and Avant, who wrote and produced Britney’s Toxic, have also penned some tunes. Perhaps they are behind the only confirmed single title, “I Love New York.” Also on board to help us get into the groove is Stuart Price (a.k.a. Jacques Lu Cont), her musical director on “The Reinvention Tour.”

In a follow-up of sorts to Truth Or Dare, a documentary about life on the road of during The Reinvention Tour, called Madonna: I’m Going To Tell You A Secret, may also be released in November, after many delays. And the DVD of The Re-invention Tour will be in stores for the holiday season. Of course, we all know about her delving into the children’s book market, and her most recent one, Lotsa De Casha, made it onto the New York Times’ bestseller list. She’s slated to lend her voice to the 2006 animated movie Arthur and The Minimoys. Damn, she’s one busy Esther!

Janet Jackson (divamissjacksonifyouarenasty): Remember when the words “nipplegate” and Janet Jackson were not linked forever in controversy? How will our Miss Jackson survive? Well, receiving a Human Rights Campaign award on June 18 for the millions of dollars she has raised for AIDS related causes is a good start. Even better is her big middle finger to Middle America! She has a cameo as a stripper decked out in a Britney-esque schoolgirl ensemble in boyfriend Jermaine Dupri’s Gotta Getcha video. And she’s also starting work on a new CD with Dupri and longtime collaborators Jimmy Jam and Terry Lewis. It’s set to be all dance and more of a return to Control. Dupri insists that, even though Damita Jo undersold, this is not a comeback for Janet.

Mariah Carey (divamakesdogsearsbleed): Speaking of comebacks, somebody enjoying a huge one presently is Mariah Carey (that all sounds dirty somehow). She recently scored her 16th number-one single with We Belong Together, and that puts her behind The Beatles (with 20 number-ones) and Elvis (with 18 number-ones). Again, that sounds dirty! Putting my professional hat on at a jaunty tilt, her CD The Emancipation of Mimi has gone triple platinum, and that’s enough to brush off the muted flecks of Glitter that could have permanently tarnished her career. Well, that and being cuckoo for Coco Puffs – hey, where did my hat go? Look out for her next single, “Shake It Off.” Could it be her next hit?

Whitney Houston (divasweatsalot): Someone that needs a big hit is Whitney, and I am not talking about from a crack pipe, either. The once wholesome, big-piped (again, not of the crack variety) Houston has seen her career sidetracked by stints in rehab and a rocky marriage to Bobby Brown. So how to best mend a shattered public image? Hey, why not be featured on your husband’s reality show “Being Bobby Brown”? That’s a great idea! What could you talk about in a public forum? Hmm… oh, I know – how about the time he helped you dig out a stubborn stool (as in sample, and not of the sitting variety)? Whitney was in the studio before rehab visit number… Wait, I lost track… working on her comeback album. Let’s hope she can pull it together both professionally and personally – a talent that big shouldn’t be wasted, literally.

J. Lo (divabootylicious): Her latest CD, Rebirth, has only sold 650,000 copies so far in the U.S., and is widely regarded as a flop (why sugarcoat it, right?). “Get Right” was her only big hit, but it had that grating trumpet-being-dragged-under-a-bus hook. The second single, “Hold You Down,” peaked at number 64. Despite all of that, she’s readying her next single, “Whatever You Want To Do,” a mix of funk, hip-hop and dance. Future projects include a new remix album culling hits from her last two musical endeavors (do they still make EPs?) and a Spanish language CD with ultra-thin hubby Marc Anthony. Let’s hope it’s not as creepy as their stilted Grammy performance. Well, at least she has that acting career, and three upcoming movies slated for 2005.

Diva-lites (divaandtherest): Gwen Stefani has a new single, “Cool,” and will be touring with the Black Eyed Peas in the fall. Look for her at Cox Arena on Oct. 20. Britney Spears is preggers. Aside from giving birth, her only upcoming project is the release of Chaotic on DVD on Aug. 23. – can you handle their truth? (I don’t wanna touch nothin’ skeevy Mr. Federline has handled.) Christina Aguilera has a self-described “retro blues/jazz/soul record, but a really meaty, gritty, real raw record of soul” (and that’s a direct quote, I couldn’t make it up) that’s near completion. Destiny’s Child is calling it quits (shut up!), and before they do, have you ever noticed the eerie similarities between them and The Supremes? Kelly Rowland could pass for Mary Wilson, Michelle Williams for Florence Ballard, and Beyoncè, well she’s vying for Miss Ross’ position. The Spice Girls are talking about a 2006 reunion to mark the 10-year anniversary of Wannabe’s release. They were supposed to reunite for “Live 8,” but Mel B., a.k.a. Scary Spice, felt “it was difficult going back” to something she did in the past. Umm, as opposed to what you are doing presently? Take a cue from Madonna and Cher, Scary.

Actually, we can all take a cue from our divas, as there is a lot to learn from their wealth of experience. They have the power of longevity, the ability to reinvent and a resilience that belies the larger-than-life personas that live underneath mere flesh and bone. Perhaps that is what makes a diva a diva? That’s one to grow on. Until next time, that’s all of the news that’s fit to print.