Before we dive into this month’s edition, I’d like to give my two cents worth on the Oscar “upset.” And please hold all of your “that was so last month” comments until the end, thank you. So Brokeback didn’t go for broke at the Academy Awards. Most noticeably, the sorest bone of contention is connected to the Best Picture loss.

Is it disappointing? Sure. Is it some sort of mass conspiracy to keep the gays in their place? Not exactly. What sums it up best is that it’s a sure sign that while Hollywood is mostly liberal, there are still some remnants from the Jurassic era roaming around Tinsel Town. In the meantime, we’ll just have to deal with idiots – err, I mean respected actors kicking it old school.

For instance, Ernest Borgnine said about Brokeback: “I didn’t see it and I don’t care to see it. I know they say it’s a good picture, but I don’t care to see it. If John Wayne were alive, he’d be rolling over in his grave.”

OK, let’s break this quote down for clarity’s sake. Ernie B. obviously doesn’t care to broaden his horizons, only his waistline. And if you’re alive, how can roll around in your grave? Ah, very astute and right in line with the type of thinking that is, unfortunately, present in H’wood’s older contingency.

So, do we just roll over and play dead? To paraphrase Whitney Houston, “Oh, hell to the no!” And to further paraphrase another dead celebrity (Oops! Sorry, Whitney, I was just speaking in terms of your career, girl), wasn’t it master of suspense Alfred Hitchcock who once extolled, “It’s only a movie?”

If anything, Brokeback Mountain (due out on DVD April 4) brought a lot of publicity to an existing film genre and will ultimately make it a tad easier to tackle certain subject matter. Phillip Seymour Hoffman did nab a little gold guy for going gay, and Brokeback did win a few, too.

So, we will do what our kind has always done: We will march ahead. And the filmmaking community isn’t shunning us, as there are still a good number of gay-themed movies heading our way. As a matter of fact, at the recent Sundance Film Festival, of the 200 movies that were screened, 40 of those were gay themed or featured gay characters. Take that, Borgnine!

So, now that my soapbox is vacant, what do you say we get on with the show? Here’s a rundown of movies already in the can and/or coming soon to a theater near you.

The Night Listener stars Robin Williams as Gabriel Noone, a late-night radio storyteller whose personal life is in turmoil. His fractured relationship with his boyfriend (played by Bobby Cannavale of “Will & Grace”) disintegrates, and he becomes phone pals with Pete, a 14-year-old (get yer mind outta the gutter!) longtime listener and first-time caller. Added into the mix is the social worker (Toni Collette) who saved Pete from a harrowing life of abuse; and Sandra Oh (“Grey’s Anatomy”), who once appeared in the mini-series “Further Tales of the City,” portrays Anna, who is the grown-up daughter of DeDe Halcyon of “Tales.” Throw in a mystery surrounding Pete’s existence, and you’ve got yourself a drama/thriller from the mind of Armistead Maupin (Tales of the City), who penned the screenplay based on his 2001 novel.

Puccini for Beginners tells the story of a lesbian named Allegra (Elizabeth Reaser) who falls in love with a man (Justin Kirk of Angels in America) and then flip-flops back to dating a woman (Gretchen Mol), who had also dated the same man! Whew! Got that? Where does Anne Heche find the time to juggle not only career, home and family, but writing screenplays on top of that? Oh, she’s not involved with this project? My bad.

Adam & Steve are the title characters portrayed by Craig Chester and Malcolm Gets (remember him from “Caroline in the City?” I always thought he was a little “sisterly”), who meet and fall in love after an ill-fated and forgotten one night stand 15 years prior. Along for the ride is the always watchable Parker Posey and “Saturday Night Live” alum Chris Kattan as a straight ladies man. (This is one of the films that will be shown at San Diego’s FilmOut April 13-16. To find out more about the festival, log on to www.filmoutsandiego.com.)

Summer Storm is a coming-of-age comedy/drama set against the “high stakes” backdrop of competitive rowing. At a rowing camp, a group of say it loud, say it proud gay teen athletes called The Queerstrokes shake things up. Especially for a teen named Tobi, who is left unsure of which way he’d like to swim in the waters of sexuality. I wonder if this film is produced by Bel Ami? File this one under Now Playing.

I Now Pronounce You Chuck & Larry stars the hottest faux gay couple this side of Ben Affleck and Matt Damon, only it’s Adam Sandler and Kevin James (of TV’s “King Of Queens” – am I sensing a theme here?). They play straight firefighters who feign being gay to snag domestic partner benefits. Oh, you crazy straights!

Quinceañera is a family film – well, the kind of family film that Disney wouldn’t touch with a 15-foot pole. A 15-year-old Mexican girl, Magdalena (Emily Rios), becomes pregnant and is shipped off to live with her uncle and another familia outcast – her gay male cousin, played by muy guapo Jesse Garcia. The three form a tight-knit family unit, solidifying the theory that it’s the family that you make along the way that counts.

The Dreyfus Affair hasn’t even cast its lead roles and it’s already getting ink due to its storyline in which a married-with-children baseball player falls for his second baseman. He must be straight. Any gay man worth his salt knows that you either go with a pitcher or a catcher – or both for versatility’s sake! I’m just praying that the powers-that-be don’t think it would be cute to put Richard Dreyfuss in one of the roles – no one wants to see Mr. Holland’s Old Puss.

Speaking of, Sharon Stone is back in Basic Instinct 2, so that smell you may detect emanating from your local Cineplex come March 31 is from the “long awaited sequel.” Stone reprises her role as the bisexual, ice-pick-wielding Catherine Tramell 14 years after the original made her a boner-fide star. Some things have changed for the sequel, though. There’s no Michael Douglas, and this one has all of the earmarks of being a piece of camp. If they keep on with this 14-year gap between films, Stone will be 62 when they make Basic Instinct 3, and nobody will want to see Grandma’s hoo-ha like we do now. I do agree with Stone’s off-camera comments about actresses over 40 being discarded by Hollywood; I just don’t know that we needed this unnecessary sequel to prove that point.

Do you find it hard to sit still through an entire movie? Well, the folks behind Sissy Frenchfry, a 28-minute short film, have got you covered. The title character Sissy Frenchfry (Steven Mayhew) is the gayest and most popular kid in his high school. Say what? That’s right, he’s in the running for class president, and I’ll just bet he’s already handpicked his tiara in anticipation of being elected homecoming queen. This send-up of every John Hughes movie (heavy emphasis on the pretty and the pink) and straight high school flick turns the genre on its ear – or is that rear? The football-playing jocks would rather make passes at each other than out on the field and the head cheerleader could pass for a linebacker! Leslie Jordan and Clinton Leupp (a.k.a. Coco Peru) co-star.

There are a surprising number of documentaries that chronicle all the walks of life that make up our community. Small Town Gay Bar, for example. Now what could this be about? It’s about the very real prejudices that face GLBT rural Americans looking for a place where everybody knows their name.

Wrestling with Angels is three years in the life of Angels in America playwright Tony Kushner, interspersed with scenes from the worlds he creates within and the outside world that helped shaped him.

Cruel & Unusual documents a transgender woman who is forced to serve out her sentence in a perilous all-male prison.

The minds behind last year’s Gay Sex in the ’70s explore the blight of crystal meth upon the gay community in Rock Bottom. I guess the title Booty Bump was already taken.

How Do I Look features many of the drag performers who felt slighted by the 1990 doc Paris Is Burning telling their side of the story – and lookin’ fierce doing it.

There are certain movies that aren’t classified as gay, but will always have a pull for gay audiences no matter what the storyline. Here’s a few coming out this spring.

Alpha Dog is Justin Timberlake’s first foray into acting, and has been garnering quite a bit of early buzz. I’m sure it will be his acting chops we’ll be focusing on, and not any potential shirtless scenes. The film co-stars Bruce Willis, Sharon Stone and Emile Hirsch. (Opens in April)

Friends with Money has chick flick written all over it, which means that all the boys will want to see it, too. Especially since it’s a tale of how friends secretly talk about and judge each other. What queen wrote this one? It stars Jennifer Aniston, Catherine Keener and Joan Cusack as the catty trio. (April 7)

Take the Lead has both Antonio Banderas and dancing! Somebody better put Melanie Griffith in the corner. (Opens April 7)

Gretchen Mol brings The Notorious Bettie Page to the screen, starring as the 1950s infamous pin-up sensation. (April 14)

“Desperate Housewives’” resident spitfire Eva Longoria jumps from the small screen to the big screen in The Sentinel. Oh yeah, and Michael Douglas, Kiefer Sutherland and Kim Basinger are in it, too. Whatevs.

American Dreamz is both a send-up of “American Idol” and George Dubya – huh? Hugh Grant stars as the Simon Cowell-esque judge/host of a popular television talent show that nabs the president (Dennis Quaid) as a guest host. Kooky. Mandy Moore also stars as a singing hopeful. So she’s playing herself? (Opens April 21)

So, what did we learn here today? That the world still turns despite disappointments. That the adage, “You win some, you lose some” is only somewhat comforting. When you boil it down, remember, “It’s only a movie.” We have bigger battles to wage. At the very least, you have a great mantra while viewing Basic Instinct 2. Until next time, that’s all the news that’s fit to print.