Madonna’s Confessions tour begins with a huge disco ball descending from the ceiling, its multi-glowing facade heralding a show that encompasses the performer herself. Each prism is a minute reflection of her Madgesty, facets of the personas she has worn so well over the years: the provocateur, the button-pusher, the seductress and, most importantly, the showstopper.

As the ball slowly begins to open, and the presence of Madonna emerges first in spirit, then in human form, you know this is going to be one hell of a show! And the mostly gay male crowd, sprinkled with women who must have been 12 (same difference!) when Madonna first emerged on the scene, were eating it up.

The L.A. Forum was transformed into one giant dance party that at some points had the building shaking so much there should have been concern that it was going to come off its foundation. This was not a night for concerns; it was a time to shake your groove thang, as if the rest of the world did not exist. And indeed it did cease to exist as a figure clad in a Jean Paul Gaultier dominatrix-meets-equestrian outfit appeared on the video screen wanting to tell us about love.

Then image of the onscreen Madonna gave way to the flesh-and-bone version. Her appearance from my vantage point on the floor – five feet from the catwalk where she made her spectacular entrance from the disco ball – was jolting. I was as close to my favorite diva as I could get without her issuing a restraining order. It was a true moment of shock and awe that had me issuing guttural noises, close to sounding like the teenaged girl I can be when it comes to all things Madonna.

Whenever she left the area closest to me, all I could do was point at the empty catwalk and say, “She was right there!” She looked straight into my eyes at one point, and I was a queer caught in the headlights!

“Future Lovers” kicked off the Equestrian set, and you’d be hard pressed to believe the 47-year-old had fallen off a horse last summer. She looked firm and fit, a mistress of her domain, her confident look and smiling face daring you not to have a good time. The hat she sported was a telltale sign of the vast array of costumes she would wear during her nearly two-hour, nonstop performance, which was broken into four different set pieces. She enjoyed a little “horse play” with one of the dancers, climbing on his back and taking him for a ride. Donna Summer’s “I Feel Love” was worked into the song at mid-point.

This first number set the tone for what was to follow – lots of new music and a few reworkings of some Madonna chestnuts. The melding of the old and new was seamless.

“Get Together,” the rumored third single off Confessions on a Dance Floor, had Lady M dance and sing, get up and do her thing alongside two male dancers resplendent in horse-like garb.

“Like A Virgin” got a stylized makeover with Madonna gyrating on a stripper pole that was connected to a saddle on a carousel, while images of her X-rays from the horse fall were displayed on the video monitors. This show is the first time in over a decade that “Virgin” has been performed in concert; the last being during 1993’s The Girlie Show. The crowd made it known how much they appreciated it, as she asked the crowd if they wanted to take a ride. It was nice to see her trot this hit out, answering the question, “Whatever happened to the sexual Madonna?”

One of my favorite tracks off Confessions has to be “Jump,” and it did not disappoint in live performance. A jungle gym was lowered over the catwalk and acrobatic feats abounded from her dancers. Thus concluded the Equestrian set.

There was a requisite costume change filler moment, an interpretive dance that recounted violence at the hands of others. Neat! Nothing like that to get us into the groove.

This brought us to the Middle Eastern segment, and what is arguably the most controversial element of the show is also one of the most visually stunning moments of the night. Hung from a cross, a crown of thorns framing her blonde tresses as a flaming corona highlights the disco ball-mirrored cross, Madonna belts out “Live To Tell.” I was wondering why she didn’t sing “Hung Up” or “Like A Prayer” at this point, but I digress.

Following that is “Forbidden Love,” illustrated by two male dancers doing a push/pull type of dance and Madonna sashaying around the cross.

Probably my least favorite track on Confessions has to be “Isaac.” I had anticipated a bathroom break at this point in the show. Instead I thought I’d see if the live version would sway me to accept the song. It didn’t, but it was nice to look at, with a burka-clad woman dancing in a cage while the real Isaac was in the house.

“Sorry” had a Thunderdome cage-match vibe of men versus women in a battle royale. Gee, I wonder who emerged triumphant. Duh.

“Like it or not” seems to be Madonna’s attitude these days. Hell, it always has been, I suppose. Her non-Aqua-netted hair flowed freely as she whipped her head back and forth during her self described “inner-rage workout.”

And now, with the Middle Eastern portion of the show completed, how about a reworking of the “Sorry” video admonishing world leaders and politics?

The Glam Rock section opened with “I Love New York,” and had our gal strummin’ an electric guitar. She also kept in her highest applause-getter from her Coachella performance when she said, “If you don’t like my attitude, then you can F off. Go to Texas and suck George Bush’s d**k!”

“Ray Of Light” was up next. Her interaction with the audience was limited, but during this song she commanded everybody to jump in place, and we did.

“Let It Will Be,” her Yoda-speak ode to the trappings of fame, saw the sexual side re-emerge in a big way. She stuck her hand down her pants, pulled it out and licked her fingers! That was followed in short succession by another fame-is-a-bitch hit, “Drowned World.” During her other sit-down performance, “Paradise (Not For Me),” she trotted out her pal, Isaac. Yes, that Isaac. These two performances broke the kinetic energy of the show, but no need to fret – there would be more energy than you could shake a stick at comin’ up.

The Disco Inferno set piece was by far the most entertaining. Decked out in a John Travolta Saturday Night Fever ensemble, Madonna performed “Music” mashed up with The Trammps’ “Disco Inferno.” In a word, awesome, and it had the dancers doing a ring-around-the-rosy roller skating circle around her! She busted out some traditional disco moves. This was by far my favorite number.

Stripping down to an ABBA-inspired bodysuit for “Erotica” (which was the “You Thrill Me” version), I was surprised this wasn’t more of a sextacle.

“La Isla Bonita” was re-invented as a salsa-flavored ditty and “Lucky Star” was performed for the first time in 19 years without the benefit of severe jazz hands or the cotton ball hairdo, circa 1987’s “Who’s That Girl” tour. This was another crowd pleaser, which segued into the show’s final number, “Hung Up,” during which Madonna sported a cape that read “Dancing Queen” and dry-humped a boom box in her lone leotard of the evening.

There were no encores. The video screens asked us if we had confessed, and I must do so now: The show was nothing short of amazing, and I did the stadium-exit shuffle feeling satiated.

Don’t worry if you can’t pony up the clams to see Madonna live. The tour is reportedly going to be an HBO special in July. l