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Larry David
arts & entertainment
Gaywatch
The Emmy Awards: tuned in or tuned out?
Published Thursday, 24-Aug-2006 in issue 974
Ever since the Emmy Award nominations were announced more than a month ago, I have noticed several news stations declaring “the end of days” is at hand. You may think one has nothing to do with the other. Well, think again!
The Emmy nominations are a clear-cut example of “the meek shall inherit the Earth.” Most of the nominees up for the golden lady are on programs that have been cancelled or have left the airwaves of their own volition. Plus, neither “Desperate Housewives” nor “Lost was nominated. I know the second seasons left little to be desired, but c’mon. It makes me want to take to the streets with a sandwich board that reads: “Repent! The End Is Near!” Well, I would only do that for Marcia Cross. She was the best part of “Housewives” this year and had the best storyline.
You can catch the 58th Annual Emmy Awards this Sunday at 8:00 p.m. on NBC, hosted by Conan O’Brien.
Here’s a rundown on the nominations and who could take home the gold. And the best part is nobody from “Everybody Loves Raymond” is nominated!
The side-splitters brigade
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Steve Carell
First off, I am perplexed by the exclusion of Eric McCormack in the Lead Actor in a Comedy Series category. All of his cast mates were nominated in their respective categories. Maybe the academy figured that a nod to Kevin James for his flagging, I mean, flagship CBS comedy “The King of Queens” sufficed?
Larry David of HBO’s “Curb Your Enthusiasm” also received a nod, as did Tony Shalhoub of “Monk.”
The two frontrunners, in my opinion, are Steve Carell of “The Office” and Charlie Sheen of “Two and a Half Men.”
Could win: Steve Carell, who seems to be the golden boy of comedy at age 40.
Should win: Charlie Sheen, who has had a tough year in his personal life. He may sway voters who have been dumped by beautiful actresses who then hook up with aged rockers.
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Charlie Sheen
The Lead Actress in a Comedy Series features only one actress scheduled to return this fall. Thankfully, it’s not Lisa Kudrow in “The Comeback.” How in God’s name did she get nominated?
Jane Kaczmarek of the now defunct “Malcolm in the Middle” is the Susan Lucci of the primetime Emmys, and I think her streak of never winning is going to continue.
Stockard Channing of Out of Practice” should have gotten an Oscar for being 35 and playing high school senior Rizzo in Grease (“Come on, girls, let’s go. My ovaries are drying up!”) I think the Emmy this year will prove just as elusive. Besides, she already has 12 at home.
Could win: Julia Louis-Dreyfus broke the “Seinfeld” curse when her “The New Adventures of Old Christine” became a surprise hit by staying on the air.
Should win: I want “Will & Grace” to go out on top (even if Will and Jack were card-carrying bottoms). So that means I want Debra Messing to win one of their 10 nominations, obviously.
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Ryan Seacrest
The Outstanding Supporting Actor’s ratio of off-air personalities is 3-2. Will Arnett of “Arrested Development and Bryan Cranston of “Malcolm in the Middle” are both from FOX shows that are no longer. Sean Hayes was on some show with gay people, I think. Jeremy Piven gets props for his portrayal of an agent on “Entourage,” and Jon Cryer (a.k.a. Duckie from Pretty in Pink) received his first nom.
Could win: Jeremy Piven from “Entourage.”
Should win: Duh! Sean Hayes.
The ladies in the Outstanding Supporting Actress category are a funny lot, and there’s one “Desperate Housewife” that did get a shout-out: Alfre Woodard. Remember when she locked her son in the basement and shackled him to the bed? What a hoot!
Two cable gals, Cheryl Hines of “Curb Your Enthusiasm” and Elizabeth Perkins of “Weeds,” have generated quite a buzz.
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Candice Bergen
Could win: Jaime Pressly of “My Name is Earl” really deserves the recognition, and I am sure she will deliver the goods again next season. So…
Should win: It would have to be Megan Mullally, which means I also want Leslie Jordan to win for Outstanding Guest Actor.
Of the five comedy series that are potential award winners, “Arrested Development,” “Curb Your Enthusiasm,” “Scrubs,” “Two and a Half Men” and “The Office,” I would put my money on “The Office.”
Drama queens
For Lead Actress in a Drama Series, we have Frances Conroy’s last hurrah as Ruth Fisher on “Six Feet Under” and Allison Janney of “The West Wing.” Mariska Hargitay of “Law & Order: SVU” also snagged a nomination.
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Jaime Pressly
Could win: Geena Davis’ performance in “Commander in Chief” should not be overlooked simply because the show was cancelled.
Should win: Kyra Sedgwick of “The Closer” fleshes out her character, Deputy Chief Brenda Lee Johnson, with such panache and realism it would be a true crime if she doesn’t get to say her thank yous come Emmy night.
The dudes with a flair for the dramatic are Denis Leary (“Rescue Me”), Peter Krause (“Six Feet Under”) and Martin Sheen (“The West Wing”).
Could win: Christopher Meloni of “Law & Order: SVU,” and the only reason I am not terming him a “should win” is because I believe his penis won for best supporting actor in “Oz.”
Should win: Kiefer Sutherland of “24” is but one of that show’s 12 nominations, and a shoe-in to win.
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Kyra Sedgwick
ABC has the lock on Supporting Actress in a Drama Series category, with both Sandra Oh and Chandra Wilson of “Grey’s Anatomy” going toe-to-toe for the Emmy along with Candice Bergen of “Boston Legal.” Blythe Danner of “Huff” won last year’s coveted lady. Jean Smart, the former designing woman who plays the first lady in “24,” rounds out the list of hopefuls.
Could win: Either of the ladies from “Grey’s.”
Should win: I would have to go with Jean Smart for the win.
The gents who act as sports bras, giving that little bit of added support, are: Oliver Platt (“Huff”), Michael Imperioli (“The Sopranos.” And, no, he’s not the gay one), Alan Alda (“The West Wing”), Gregory Itzin (“24”) and the incomparable William Shatner (“Boston Legal”).
Could win: William Shatner has won two consecutive Emmys for his role as attorney Denny Crane.
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Kiefer Sutherland
Should win: Gregory Itzin played the president, Charles Logan, on “24,” and transformed the character from wimpy fellow to hefty villain. I wonder where he got his inspiration.
“Grey’s Anatomy,” House,” “The Sopranos” and “The West Wing” are the nominees that must stop the machine that is “24,” which I believe will take it, and take it good.
Reality bites
The Outstanding Reality-Competition Program contenders are “The Amazing Race,” “Dancing with the Stars,” “Project Runway,” “Survivor” and “American Idol.” I think “Idol” has the best shot, even if Paula Abdul won’t remember if they win or not.
Things to keep an eye out for
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Jane Kaczmarek
Aside from the fashion dos and don’ts of the red carpet, it will be interesting to see if Emmy nominee for Outstanding Reality Program Kathy Griffin throws shade to arch nemesis Ms. Ryan Shecrest!
Tune in to see if Rosie O’ Donnell wins for All Aboard! Rosie’s Family Cruise. And who doesn’t want to see “South Park win for its “Trapped in the Closet” episode?
Cut. Print. That’s a wrap!
Damn! We didn’t have room to get to the Outstanding Casting Nominees. Remember that the things I think “should” happen on Emmy night are just a fervent hope. My word is neither gold nor do I claim to be able predict the outcome of TV’s big night. I’ll leave the predictions to Nostradamus! Until next time, that’s all the news that’s fit to print.
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