Reichen Lehmkuhl first came onto the scene when he won season four of “The Amazing Race” with his then-partner, Chip Arndt. A former military man with model good looks, Lehmkuhl then headed to the cutthroat wilds of Hollywood and managed to land some gigs on the sitcoms “Frasier” and “The Drew Carey Show,” as well as soap operas “The Young and The Restless” and “Days of Our Lives.”

He has also appeared as himself on “Fear Factor” and “Kill Reality,” which chronicled the making of the horror movie The Scorned, which he starred in with other reality stars. Lehmkuhl even hosted his own talk show, “The Reichen Show,” on the now defunct Q Television. He also puts out a beefcake calendar every year that is always a crowd pleaser.

Now Lehmkuhl tells all in Here’s What We’ll Say, which chronicles his life both in and out of uniform. It touches on his upbringing, his opposition to the military’s “Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell” policy and being sexually assaulted as a cadet in the U.S. Air Force Academy.

The Gay & Lesbian Times recently spoke with Lehmkuhl, who is busy promoting his book and will be making a stop in San Diego to sign copies on Saturday, Nov. 11, at 9:00 p.m. at Bourbon Street.

Gay & Lesbian Times: When you were on “The Amazing Race,” was there any added pressure of representing the gay community?

Reichen Lehmkuhl: As soon as we won and got some public acknowledgement of what we had done, we were put up by a lot of the media as poster people for the gay community, which was definitely a lot of pressure. It was just something we weren’t expecting.

GLT: How do you feel reality shows depict gays on television in general?

RL: It just depends on who they cast. There are all different kinds of gay people, and the way they want to depict gay people is indicative of who they cast to represent the community on that show.

GLT: What are the perks of being a reality show star, and does it serve as a hindrance in trying to break out of that label in other areas of entertainment?

RL: I think for me it’s been much more of a positive thing than any kind of a hindrance. It has opened a door for me to be on network television shows, major network television shows, and to be able to have my own show on a network – until Q Television went under, of course [laughs] – and then to be able to write a book like this and be able to get the word out on a really important issue.

GLT: Much has been written about your personal life, including your relationship with Lance Bass before and after he came out publicly. Do you feel that speculation if someone is or isn’t gay is a double standard in Hollywood?

RL: I think that because homosexuality has been scandalized by our culture, it might be a little more fun to find out that someone is, in fact, gay than it would be to find out a straight couple is together.

GLT: Tell us about your work with Servicemembers Legal Defense Network. And do you think the military will ever lift its “Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell Policy”?

RL: I haven’t worked with them for a little while because I’ve been so busy writing the book and getting it produced. But I have in the past spoken for them at various events to get the word out about the ban on gays in the military, and to fight for those who are in the military and can’t speak up for themselves.

Yes, I am really hopeful that the policy will be lifted in the very near future. I think that the Department of Defense continues to fail miserably in providing any reasonable rationale for the ban on gays in the military, other than it lowers the morale of the troops who are already serving who don’t want them there. But that’s just a poor excuse and a repeat of history, when current military members of a certain time didn’t want to serve next to racial minorities. And the excuse was, “Oh, well if we let the racial minorities serve, it will lower the morale of the white troops that [are] serving.”

It’s the same with gay people now. If we look into ourselves and say, “OK, the excuses we are using are just a curtain that’s hanging over hatred, bigotry and fear,” it’s all just based on irrational fear that’s being put into the heads of our troops by our leaders. There are viable solutions to have gay people serve next to straight people; we’re talking about 69-cent shower curtains.

GLT: How cathartic was it to write your book, Here’s What We’ll Say, and what do you hope readers will take away from it?

RL: It was amazingly cathartic to write my book. I originally sat down to write the book because in studying acting I was going to class and my coaches were saying, “Draw from this or that moment in your lifetime to get in the mood for the scene.” And I realized that through studying acting, I was drawing from some serious traumatic times in my life that I would think back to. I really wanted to sit down and not have my head jumbled with all of those experiences, and just write them down and get them all off my chest and out of me.

I started writing with the first memory I ever had as a kid and just kept going, and went through the traumatic experience of losing my father and moving and switching schools a lot and living in a trailer park and being made fun of a lot and having no friends. Then eventually joining the military and wanting the American apple pie lifestyle.

By the time I finished, I felt so good about getting it all out, especially about the sexual assault. It was something that I had kept in for 13 years; it was a really big debate in my own mind of whether or not I could continue with that. I was remembering every little detail, down to what they were saying in my ear while it was happening, and it was a crazy experience.

I hope they [the readers] take away the understanding that the [“Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell”] policy hasn’t changed in 13 years since I was there, and that this stuff is still happening. I hope they realize that I am getting e-mails from cadets saying thank you for what you’re doing.

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