When I told Paris (Hilton, duh) that I was writing an article on gays and their pets, she literally screamed into the cell phone – her new one, not the one that got stolen and sent all over the Internet.

“You’ve GOT to interview me!” she exclaimed. “I love the gays, and I love pets. I think everyone should own them.”

“Own gays and pets?” I asked.

“OK!” She replied.

After an uncomfortable silence, I told her: “No. I’m writing about the GLBT community in San Diego and their pets.”

“I love BLTs,” she purred. “Oh, except for bacon. And tomatoes. But I really love lettuce, except for the taste.”

“No, GLBT,” I interrupted. “Gay, lesbian, bisexual, transgender.”

“That’s hot,” she said vacantly, and then told me to hold because Lindsay Lohan was on the other line.

“I’ll have my publicist set up the interview,” she said when she returned. “He’s really cute and he’s GLB or T, too, I think.”

“I’m married,” I told her.

“Hot.” Click.

Well, she never called me back, but that’s OK, because, again, this is an article about our community and our pets, and as cute as Tinkerbell is (yes, her Chihuahua, or at least one of them, is named Tinkerbell), there is no proof – or video – that he, or Paris, is gay. Then again, the dog’s name is Tinkerbell…

There is, however, much evidence suggesting that pet ownership in the GLBT community is on the rise, and has been for several years.

Now, I’m a San Diego native – though I moved away 10 years ago for college and then graduate school, but when I lived here, the only pet-oriented shops I remember were a few unexciting, overpriced pet stores where I would pick up some kibble, or sterile places like the vet where one could get their dog or cat shots and flea-dips. The most variety you could hope for was the color bow they were going to tape to your dog’s or cat’s ear.

But times they are a changin.’

The 2006 Greater San Diego Business Association (GSDBA) directory currently lists nine different pet-centered businesses – including pet stores, pet spas, daycares, pet-tenders, grooming, dog washers and dog walkers – that have opened their doors in our community – namely Hillcrest, North Park, South Park, Mission Hills and downtown. This doesn’t even count the various unlisted businesses.

So how do we account for this boom in pet-centrism?

I recently talked with Lisa Vella, owner (with Donna Walker) of South Bark Dog Wash, about the recent crop of pet-themed businesses. South Bark Dog Wash is located in South Park, of course, and open seven days a week.

“Economically the pet industry is growing tremendously,” Lisa says. “Three years ago it wasn’t as huge.”

But why do you think that is? I ask.

“Because people are becoming more aware about how to better take care of their pets. And this is especially true in the GLBT community where pets are often valued differently.”

One thing Lisa points out to me is that many of these new pet businesses really focus on pet owners as being active participants in the maintenance and care of their pets. There are more options now than just dropping your pet off for a flea dip or shampoo. Now pet owners can enjoy the experience of spending time with their pet, washing their pet, training their pet themselves. It’s a bonding process and a learning experience. Pet owners in the GLBT community, and in all communities, are educating themselves on how to best care for the pets they love.

“It’s also a socializing process. Like the beauty salon,” Lisa adds. “Pet owners are getting to know each other; pets are washed in tubs next to other pets. And not just dogs, but cats, too.”

According to Jeff Watters, vice president of pet snacks marketing at Del Monte Pet Products, “Gay people have a very emotional connection with their pets, stronger than the general population.”

Del Monte, in fact, was one of the forerunners in marketing to the GLBT population, placing ads in Out magazine as early as 1998.

And here is where I get all statistical on your furry pet-loving butts…

A 2003 study (sorry, that’s the most recent study out there) conducted by GL Census Partners found that pet ownership was more common among gay respondents than in the general population. In fact, 66 percent of GLBT folks owned pets, compared to 63 percent of heterosexuals.

But what, really, are these numbers a reflection of?

Some possibilities:

The GLBT community’s response to the definition of “family values” and what makes a family?

The recent controversy surrounding same-sex marriage?

The (sometimes disputed) fact that gays and lesbians have more disposable income?

Brokeback Mountain? (Sorry, I couldn’t resist.)

Harvard professor and lesbian Marjorie Garber, in her book Dog Love, claims that: “Dogs … offer unconditional love, where human lovers and human beloveds are often, well … all too human in their inconsistencies, frailties and willfulness. … Dog love is local love, passionate, often unmediated, virtually always reciprocated, fulfilling, manageable. Love for humans is harder.”

Maybe this is why we cherish our pets so much. They don’t cast judgments on us, or on our lifestyles. And, as Garber further states, this “love is not an evasion or a substitution. It calls upon the same range and depth of feelings that humans have for humans. Historically, as well as in modern times, it has often brought out the best in us.”

But enough with the quotes from famous pet people. Why not ask the people who really know: the pet owners in our community.

As a pet owner myself (shout-out to my cats, Hermia, Jack and Betsy), I’ve seen my friends’ and family members’ eyes glaze over when my hubby and I start talking about what cute little thing the kitties have done today. But we can’t help it. There’s a hubris that comes from taking care of something, raising something and watching it grow up. Watching it evolve from a little tiny furry thing with eyes to an affectionate, trained, responsive, bigger furry thing with eyes.

Take Gay & Lesbian Times cover boys Alfonso Cardenas and boyfriend Matthew Soto, of North Park, who recently marked cover dog Russell’s first birthday.

“We’ll be having a barbecue birthday party for him soon. He likes planes, so it will be a plane theme,” Alfonso tells me.

They got Russell, a – you guessed it – Jack Russell terrier, from a private breeder when he was just five and a half weeks old. He’s since been through two obedience classes and numerous chew toys.

“He slept in our bed the first night and has ever since. In fact, he pushes us out of the bed,” Alfonso says.

Russell, who’s sweet and bouncy and very vocal (maybe he smells my cats?), chews on one of those leather ear-things as his daddies animatedly explain how their lives have changed as a result of being pet owners.

“We’re definitely morning people now,” says Matthew, with a bit of faux-exasperation. “We have to adjust to his schedule. Up at 6:00 a.m. to walk him. He goes to the park five times a week.”

“He has a nanny,” Alfonso pipes in. “Carla, our neighbor.”

Matthew then takes me around the apartment to show off the many photos of Russell. Here’s Russell kayaking with the boys. And here’s one with his graduation cap on, tassel to the left.

“We had a graduation cocktail mixer for Russell,” Alfonso says. “Well, it was more for us than him, I suppose.”

It’s abundantly clear, from the overflowing basket of toys in the corner of the room to the collection of doggie sweaters and jackets, that Russell is their baby.

Still, I have to ask: “Do you guys feel like parents? Do you feel that Russell is like your little kid?”

The room goes silent. Except for barking and chewing, that is. A cloud of seriousness comes over the room

“I’ve jumped in front of a car for him,” Alfonso slowly, dramatically tells me.

There is another bark from Russell.

“At first my mom thought it was silly, the way we treat our dog like family,” says Matthew, “but soon she came to see how important he is to us.”

“Sometimes we drop Russell off at my mother’s,” Alfonso adds. “She has two dogs of her own, so she can relate.”

Eventually, the guys would like to move to a bigger place, a place with a yard. They’ve held off buying a new couch (did I mention Russell likes to chew?), and, someday, when Alfonso’s done with school, they plan to have children of their own. But for now, they’re deliriously happy with their little family of three.

“He’s brought us a lot of joy,” they tell me. “His whole purpose of existence is to make us happy.”

I don’t know what they’re teaching at Russell’s obedience school, but he’s obviously got Matthew and Alfonso trained.

“We kept his baby teeth!” Matthew says, getting up from the couch and pulling a tiny plastic bag from out of nowhere.

Of course they did.

Brenda Watson is well known in the GLBT community for her passionate, outspoken advocacy of transgender rights and protections. But get her talking about Onyx, her adorably fluffy 8-year-old black Pomeranian, and she becomes a gushing, doting mother. And that’s because, no doubt about it, she is.

“This is my daughter, my little baby,” she coos. “And I’m your mommy.”

Surely you’ve seen Brenda, a vibrant, statuesque blonde transsexual, at various functions – working for Mama’s Kitchen, speaking at Scouting for All rallies (Brenda was once an Eagle Scout), with the Imperial Court, or at some other worthy event. Well, just about everywhere Brenda goes, Onyx goes with her.

“In 2003, I got a Stonewall Award,” Brenda recalls. “Nicole [Murray-Ramirez, a local activist, columnist and city commissioner] wasn’t sure who I was, but he would say, ‘Who’s that tall trans girl with the black Pomeranian?’”

Brenda initially began taking Onyx to Mama’s Kitchen when she volunteered.

“It was therapy, bringing Onyx. I saw her impact on the folks at Mama’s Kitchen and I knew I had something special.”

One of the people Brenda and Onyx brought meals to was affiliated with the San Diego chapter of PAWS (Pets Are Wonderful Support), the nationwide organization that helps the chronically ill, disabled and/or low-income elderly keep and manage the care of their beloved pets.

“PAWS enables people to keep their pets, when they otherwise might not be able or capable,” Brenda says. “We go to people’s houses, walk their dogs, change the cat boxes, deliver meals, take pets to the vet; sometimes we even help with medical costs.”

Helping the community and motivating others in the GLBT community is a major mission for Brenda and Onyx. Together, they’ve helped out at AIDS Walk, Pride and dog walks, and they’ve appeared on stage at Bacchus House, where the crowds eat up Brenda’s rendition of “How Much Is That Doggie In the Window” (with the charismatic Onyx sitting – where else? – in a window).

“She’s my little living legend,” Brenda beams. “I love showing her off and going places with her, participating in the community. My life would be empty without her.”

As she says this, Onyx sneaks quietly into my lap, where she sits looking up at me with her big brown eyes. I’m a goner, hypnotized by the charms of the 5 1/2 lb. bundle of love that is Onyx.

“She’s the most active community-service dog ever,” says Brenda. “At PAWS events, I put Onyx on the table, and she’s like magnet. She is!”

Indeed, it seems Onyx has her own following now. She’s specifically asked about and asked for when Brenda is invited to or volunteers for her various functions.

Brenda tells me that the Imperial Court motto is “Doing Noble Deeds and Having Fun.” This sounds like the motto for her own, and Onyx’s, life.

I wonder to myself if dogs can get Nicky Awards for service. Surely this dog deserves one, or at least a title in the Imperial Court. Mascot?

A few weeks ago, Onyx suffered from pancreatitis – a heart-wrenching ordeal for both dog and her mother. “She’s never been sick,” Brenda says. “But now she’s on a low-fat diet. She’s healthier now.”

“If anything, anything were to happen to her…” Brenda says, but then she stops herself. “All I can say is that having a pet, like a having a child, is a lifelong commitment. You have to be prepared for the responsibility. Because it is a commitment.”

“There’s only one Onyx,” Brenda assures me as I head out the door on my way. “There’s no replacement. And wouldn’t she say the same thing about me?”

Yes, Brenda. I believe she would.

On a recent gloriously sunny Sunday morning, I meet photographer Andrew Printer and his boyfriend, Tim Marzullo, at the dog run next to the Balboa Park bridge with their gaggle of pets: two dachshunds, Fritz and Spencer, and pugs Raleigh and Jake (Andrew also has a cat, a goldfish and a bird – but they couldn’t come out that day). We’re soon joined by their friends Edward Bauer and Jason Feinstein and their dogs Lucky (a beagle-husky mix) and Comet (a basset hound).

When I ask them collectively if they look at their gaggle of pets as a family unit, I get an almost resounding yes from the handsome and furry bunch (dogs furry, the gay men handsome – but I guess that’s subjective).

“There’s no question,” says Jason. “They definitely become your kids, and it even influenced the choice in the home we bought.”

Adds Jason’s boyfriend, Edward, “We had to find places our dogs could live.”

“We didn’t travel for a year when we first got the dogs,” they tell me.

How’s that for whipped? Oops. Was I just thinking out loud?

“And now,” continues Jason, “when we do go out of town, we check them into Golden Paw – a pet resort. Getting them in involved an interview process not unlike a private boarding school.”

The group laughs, but, as much as we all know how funny and absurd it seems, the reality is that we do these things because we love our pets. And, because we do think of them as our family, our children, we want the best for them.

“They get their own 8-by-8 suites, where they can watch Animal Planet, and we can watch them on a Web cam!”

More laughter.

“It fills up quickly,” Jason says. “We just got our reservation for Christmas.”

“They get excited about going there!” Edward adds.

Probably not half as excited as their owners get in taking them there (this is noted with endearment).

“Well,” says Andrew, “I don’t think I look at them as my children as much as Tim does.”

Of course, Andrew says this while cradling Spencer in his arms like a father with his newborn son – as he’s been doing the entire morning. Spencer is a little shy compared to the other dogs.

“They are like my kids,” Tim responds. “When I work, they all know. They have a place to go.”

“I work at home, too,” says Edward. “They know when to be quiet.”

Not now, kids, Daddy’s busy, I think to myself.

I ask them to speculate on why it seems that more and more people in the GLBT community are either adopting pets or becoming more visible with their pets.

“In the past,” says Andrew, “it seemed some people would get dogs as more of a novelty or accessory. But that seems to have changed. People are more serious about raising pets as family now.”

Maybe it’s a sign of a maturing community? Or a community that is taking itself more seriously – thinking about marriage and family?

“I came to realize she [Comet] was going to be my dog of my adult life,” Jason tells me, “and that’s one thing you have to realize when you get a pet, dog or cat or whatever. It’s most likely going to be with you the next 15 years of your life.”

Adds Edward: “It’s amazing how attached you get to them. Our Christmas card every year is of them with Santa hats.”

“And,” continues Jason, “my mom has pictures of the dogs on her computer. It’s her screensaver. The pictures of Comet and Lucky rotate with those of her other grandkids.”

How my friend Robbie O’Donnell – who is the program manager of Education and Volunteers at the Hillcrest Youth Center, as well as the case manager for the Youth Housing Project – has the time and energy for a pet, I’ll never know. But he does, and Pokey, his painfully cute, über-friendly short-haired Pointer mix, is proof of that.

Robbie even moved out of his studio into a two-bedroom apartment to accommodate the loveable gray-and-white dog with black spots. Well, OK, he did get a killer deal on his place in South Park, but that’s beside the point.

He got Pokey at the dog pound. “I was looking for companionship,” he says to me, “and a friend of mine had a dog. I saw how much fun he was having spending time with his dog, and I wanted to feel that, too.”

And what has it been like, I ask, having Pokey around for two and a half years?

“She’s changed my life,” he says, his eyes shining. “I had to be accountable to a living thing all of a sudden. Instead of my life being about ‘me,’ it then became ‘me and her.’

“We watch ‘Saturday Night Live’ together every Saturday.”

Of course, where there’s dog love there has to be cat love (well, and bird love and goldfish love, and, well, we won’t go into hamster or gerbil love, but…).

In fact, according to GL Census, in the war between cats and dogs (and their owners), 48.7 percent of respondents own at least one cat, compared to 46.4 percent who own at least one dog.

Normal Heights resident Chuck Donk has had his cats Merlin and Cupid for 14 years, and a third, Ruby, for 12.

“They’re my babies,” says Chuck. “I knew when I got them that they were going to be with me until they passed on.”

Chuck is slowly trying to convert his boyfriend of two years, Manny, into a cat lover.

“I’m not really a cat person. I didn’t grow up with cats like Chuck did,” Manny confides.

“Still, they like you now,” Chuck reassures him.

As I listen to Chuck and Manny, and others, banter about their pets, it’s apparent that many in our community relish the opportunity, the duties, the ins and outs of being, well, a parent. As Lisa Vella puts it, “Having an animal is like our having kids – but we get to practice with pets first.”

That would make Manny the reluctant stepmother who realizes she’s in over her head. (Just kidding, but you get the picture.)

Being a parent, whether it’s to a pet or a child, definitely means responsibility of the financial kind. And I’m not just talking about the consumption of squeaky toys, catnip, and cat and dog treats. Chuck and Manny have had more than their share of vet bills for their cats – namely Ruby, who’s diabetic.

June Doherty, a colorist and co-owner of Section 2820 hair salon, and her girlfriend, Karen Hogan, a bartender at Hamburger Mary’s, are the proud mamas of cats Bobby, Cali and Smokey.

“Karen got Smokey in front of a grocery store on a beer run when she was 21, so 15 years ago,” June says. “Bobby and Cali were the babies of my ex-girlfriend’s cat. I’ve had them 11 years.”

“We see our cats every day,” they tell me. “They watch TV or movies with us at night.”

Regarding pets – or cats, in this case – as family means there are also emotional responsibilities to go along with the financial.

According to June: “You never really know how far you’ll go for them until you’re tested. Years ago, Cali was outside playing and got covered in some type of acid. It burned her whole stomach and back legs. She was in the hospital for about a week, and they didn’t know if she would make it. I visited her every day. When she came home, she had to live in the bathroom so she wouldn’t jump around and open her wounds. Every day I got home, I would pick her up and carry her around like my baby until I went to bed. And then she would sleep on my chest. Thankfully, she healed, and now only has limited movement in one leg.”

“I think any pet lover, gay or straight, feels their animals are part of the family,” Karen says. “Especially if you don’t have children. It allows you to love unconditionally.”

I ask them if they have any words of wisdom for cat owners, or pet owners in general, looking to start a family.

“Make sure you have the time and energy your pet needs,” Karen says. “Cats are pretty low-maintenance in general, but you never know what you’re going to get. I think that’s part of the fun – seeing their personalities develop.”

“Also, have an emergency fund in case they get hurt or sick,” June adds. “Medical bills can get crazy expensive. Maybe get pet insurance. Either way, they are worth every penny you might spend on them. They give you more love than you know.”

It’s clear to me after speaking to these pet owners that even if there hadn’t been a recent surge in pet-oriented businesses in San Diego’s GLBT community, had same-sex marriage not been the hot-button topic of the last few years – yes, even if Brokeback Mountain had not been made – it wouldn’t change the way we feel, and have always felt, about our pets. They are, and always will be, our kitties, our doggies, our llamas, our goldfishes, our froggies, our birdies, our babies, our children, our family.